All posts in Mental Health

Worried about Low Libido?

By 24 Sep, 2023 Lifestyle Tips, Menopause, Mental Health, Peri-Menopause, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This may be a touchy subject for many women, as on the one hand a lot of us experience low sex drive, but on the other hand we don’t talk about it! The issue becomes more complicated when healthcare providers don’t even ask us about our libido, yet hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) is quite a common issue women deal with. Additionally, many psychologists, primary healthcare providers and OBGYNs are trained to care for and treat HSDD. HSDD is defined as the absence of desire for sexual activity and/or sexual fantasies– we most often just refer to it as “low libido,” and like anything else, it can have its ebbs and flows. Lack of sex drive can be frustrating in a relationship, but it is a normal thing to be experiencing, it can be traced back to causes, and it doesn’t mean that it’s permanent or that you do not love or are attracted to your partner. 

What Causes It?

Especially in women, low libido can be attributed to hormonal changes or imbalances: this can be during the menstrual cycle as estrogen and progesterone levels rise and lower, during menopause when our estrogen levels dramatically drop, in the case of a total hysterectomy, during pregnancy, or if you have PCOS–just to name a few examples. 

Another common reason for low libido in women are mental health issues, as well as medications. Depression and anxiety, PTSD, and past sexual trauma can negatively affect a woman’s desire for sex. Many times, the medications used to treat mental health issues can worsen an already low libido. This does not mean an important medication should be stopped, but you can–and should–bring it up with your therapist or mental healthcare professional. 

Life stressors, chronic stress, and fatigue can minimize the body’s natural sexual urges. This is even more prevalent in new mothers, or families with young kids: the everyday exhaustion, lack of sleep, and constant worry simply leave no room for sexual intimacy, or desire thereof.  

What Can We Do?

If one partner has low or no interest in sex while in a healthy relationship, remember it is a team effort: it is not up to the partner who has low libido to “solve” the issue and magically become better. 

  • The first thing to consider and talk about, even if it’s uncomfortable, is relationship issues. Your partner’s desire for sex, or how safe they feel, may be affected by something in the relationship neither of you knew was an issue until you really examined it and talked about it. 
  • If you and/or your partner face mental health issues, it is important to carefully consider how those may be affecting your sex life. Especially if you take any medications, look into the side effects and talk with your therapists about how they could be affecting your sex drive, and solutions to balance that out. 
  • Redefine intimacy in ways that work for you, and where sex is not the goal or the starting point. You may plan a romantic date, do small daily things to lessen stress, or start with small affectionate gestures to help strengthen your romantic bond. 

If you feel that your lack of interest in sex is related to a more serious health issue, either physical or mental, or to a serious issue in your relationship that you have not communicated about, it may be a good idea to seek out professional help and support. HSDD is not uncommon, and many medical professionals can assist you with it; you know your body and life circumstances best, and with a bit of assistance you will be able to get to the root of the issue much more effectively.



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Coming Out to your Doctor

By 18 Sep, 2023 Diet & Exercise, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, Prevention, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If you belong in the LGBTQ community, you probably know that coming out is constant and not a “rip off the bandaid processm,” as it happens every time you meet someone new. Seeking a medical provider, and specifically an OBGYN, as a queer person can be challenging; if you already have a provider but have not discussed your sexual orientation or gender identity with them, it may be time to prepare for a coming out discussion. 

Why does it matter?

It’s understandable you may want to avoid another discussion about your sexual orientation and/or gender identity, but when it comes to healthcare this is vital information so you can get the best possible healthcare. A queer ally doctor would be knowledgeable on the health risks a queer person faces. If you are seeing an OBGYN, being open with them about your sexual orientation is important in getting the care you deserve: proper exams and vaccinations, contraceptive methods (if needed), safe sex and risk factors education, and other preventative care. For example, if you are a lesbian couple trying to conceive, your OBGYN should be your strongest advocate in this process. If you are transitioning, your OBGYN should oversee your hormone intake and be there for you through your hormone replacement therapy, helping you remain healthy both physically and mentally. 

How to Find a Queer-Friendly Provider

Whether you are considering coming out to your current doctor or looking for one, it’s good to look for queer friendly signs in a practice: you can inquire whether they have LGBTQ+ patients, or if there are doctors who focus on queer health and are more knowledgeable and experienced. You can also ask for referrals through your community: especially when it comes to finding an OBGYN, word of mouth and personal credibility go a long way. If you are nervous about your initial appointment you can ask a friend or trusted family member to come with you. Sometimes you can also authorize your partner or spouse to speak with your doctor on your behalf about certain matters–should you feel comfortable doing so–or be with you during the appointments. 

What Should Providers Do?

Don’t think this should be a one-way street: not all falls on you when you want to ensure a practice is queer friendly. Providers can specifically showcase they are LGBTQ friendly, and a safe space, by doing some of the following: 

  • Displaying equality symbols in their office and/ or website
  • Specifically stating they are knowledgeable about the LGBTQ community and are allies 
  • Have a visible non-discrimination statement 
  • Customize their patient intake forms to be appropriately inclusive 

Meet the Standards of Practice: a set of recommendations created by the Massachusetts Department of Public Health to improve LGBTQ access to quality care

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Adjusting for School

By 22 Aug, 2023 Childhood Health, Early Childhood Education, Fatherhood, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Prevention, School, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

With Fall just around the corner, you know that back-to-school– or first-grade–season is upon us! Getting ready for the school year is always an adjustment for families, even more so if your first-born is about to join the first grade. There may be a lot of excitement, as well as nervousness, around the situation. How can you help your child, or children, and the whole family be better prepared for the school year?

Stress and Anxiety

It’s not unusual for first-graders to experience anxiety that takes the form of tummy aches or headaches, especially on Monday mornings or Sunday nights. Sometimes, you may even get a call from the school that your child is feeling unwell. These are not lies, nor are children faking discomfort in order to stay home. They are experiencing discomfort due to the anxiety of being away from home. 

  • Establish a morning routine that makes your family feel more connected; you can spend some extra snuggle time with your child, especially on Monday mornings, and allow enough time to have a good breakfast as a family. 
  • Especially in the first few weeks of school, you may want to get there early to cement the goodbye-routine: reassure your child that you are always available during the day if they need you, and remind them that they are safe. Remember that this can feel very daunting for a child, as they are spending a lot of time away from home–which they know as a safe place–and they are surrounded by new people in a new environment. 
  • Share your own stories from school, and bond over those memories with your child. It will make them feel much more comfortable to hear that their role model was also nervous going to school, or had the same issues as them. Sharing stories and experiences openly will not only enhance your child’s trust towards you, but it will reassure them that what they are feeling is normal. 
  • Be early for pickup time; your child’s separation anxiety is volatile until they fully adjust to school, and they are really looking forward to seeing you and feeling safe that they are going home. As the school day reaches its end, their expectation and nervousness heighterns: it is of immense importance that they see you waiting for them during pick up time, and are not left wondering or feeling abandoned. 

Familiarity and Safe Spaces

Even if your child has attended pre-school, going to grade school is another can of worms… in addition, it is a new school and they don’t know what it looks like or what to expect. How can you help them feel secure about this change? 

  1. Visit the school with them, walk through the campus and be present in this new space where they will be spending a lot of time without you. Trivial as it may sound, it will help your child tremendously to know what their future classroom will be like, where they will be sitting, where the restrooms are, the cafeteria, exit and pickup point, main office, etc. 
  2. Meet the teachers if you can, as essentially they will be the “replacement” caretakers and safe people for your child while they are at school. If you can facilitate building trust and rapport with your child’s teachers before the school year begins, then your child will feel more comfortable in their expectations. 
  3. Talk through the curriculum with your child, and explain what expectations come with grade school. It’s a new structure, so the more you can explain to them what their day will look like, what they will be doing at this new school, and what they will be doing at home as a learner, the better prepared they will be when they hear “homework” is expected to be completed. 

As much as we would like to keep our children in a bubble, we all know that this is not possible. However, there is nothing more important than preparing for the school year as a family and validating your child’s anxiety–both before the school year starts and during the school year. Fingers crossed, this new school year will be filled with excitement and happiness! Remember that you and your child are a team in this, and you should always be able to reach out to the school for support if need be. 

https://www.wikihow.com/Adjust-to-a-New-School 

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/back-to-school-tips-to-help-students-adjust 

https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/Help-kids-adjust-school



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Adverse Childhood Experiences

By 18 Aug, 2023 Childhood Health, Early Childhood Education, Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

When we’re getting ready to start a new family, we may find ourselves reflecting on our own childhood experiences, and comparing with our partner how each person grew up– perhaps the goal of this introspection is to create a new family that is healthy, happy, and flourishes with good communication. If you are in the process of family planning, you may want to take into account ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences. 

What are they? 

Adverse Childhood Experiences are traumatic events children experience between the ages of 0-17. These have long lasting effects, may lead to chronic health conditions, and people address them well into adulthood. It is important to remember that ACEs affect a child’s brain, and how they experience the world. 

ACEs are quite common, with 60-80% of US adults reporting they have had at least one adverse childhood experience up until age 17, and 1 in 6 US adults saying they’ve had four or more. The most potentially traumatic ACEs can include experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect in the home, neighborhood, or school, witnessing violence in the community or otherwise living in a dangerous environment (war zone, poverty stricken areas, etc.), going through a natural disaster, witnessing serious injuries or the death of another person, losing a loved one or experiencing parental loss due to separation. However, this is by no means an exhaustive list of possible ACEs: any event that may cause trauma and long-term stress can be classified as an adverse childhood experience that adversely affects a person as an adult. 

How do I know if my child has had an ACE?

The effects of a traumatic or stressful event may not be immediately visible, or take place soon after the traumatic event has occurred. If your child confides something in you that would be traumatic, then that is a clear indication of an event that would warrant immediate support–with the assistance of a mental health professional who specializes in children or teenagers. 

Additionally, if you are going through something as a family, such as a divorce, death, fatal accident or illness, natural disaster, poverty, community violence, unemployment, housing and/or financial insecurity, you may want to address those events as potentially traumatic for your child. We cannot always correct or control life’s adversities, but we can recognize them for what they are and present this as a starting point to healing. If you recognize, as a family, that an event has been traumatic then this shows to your child that it’s ok for things to not be “normal”–that it’s part of life, and that our reactions or daily life will change when something happens. 

If there is an event or experience that you do not know about, once your child has had time to process the experience you may start noticing signs of trauma that could include, but are not limited to: difficulty sleeping or having nightmares, wetting the bed, changes to their mood, fear of other people, difficulties in school, avoiding situations, events, or people (these may be directly associated with the traumatic event), as well as difficulty showing affection towards family and friends–especially if this is a change from their usual behavior. 

How can we avoid ACEs?

The unfortunate truth is that we cannot completely eliminate ACEs, as much as we may want to. What we can do, however, is raise awareness about them so that we can all start thinking differently about childhood trauma. Historically disadvantaged populations are more susceptible to trauma, but that does not mean that everyone else is excluded. The causes may be societal, historical, natural forces, or people, but each one of us can help lessen the blow of an ACE: whether you are a parent, friend, caregiver, teacher, or neighbor. Raising awareness of ACEs means switching the focus from individual responsibility to community solutions: we can all help prevent ACEs, and help children develop strong coping mechanisms. It is important to reduce the stigma associated with parents who struggle to provide a safe environment for their children, and seek community and/or government support to do so. It is also important to remember that any one of us can promote safe, stable, and nurturing environments where children are present. 

https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html 

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace

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Lesbian Sexual Health

By 29 Jun, 2023 Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, Prevention, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

If you were a queer woman growing up in the 80s and 90s, your sex education probably consisted of mostly heteronormative standards, focusing on relationships between men and women, assuming heterosexuality as the standard overall. If you had a progressive teacher or parents, you may have been exposed to healthy examples of same-sex relationships (fingers crossed!). But, for most women who are now either well into their adult life or are parents themselves, there is a general lack on queer sex education. If like many of us, you have been fed myths, here are some that can be easily refuted: 

Myth 1: Lesbian and Bisexual Women don’t get STIs

That is absolutely not the case. We may believe that the risk of Sexually Transmitted Infections between women is relatively low, but new research suggests this is not the case. In fact, lesbians are at as much risk as heterosexual women when it comes to getting an STI. Even if you are very careful in your intimate relationships and the risk is low, that does not mean that lesbians and bisexual women are not prone to STIs.  

Along with dispelling this myth, we should bring up the fact that many women who identify as lesbians may have had sexual relations with men in the past–they may be carrying STIs without even knowing it. Consider this especially true for bisexual women, who may be sexually active with partners of all genders. Vaginas have the ability to fight off STIs naturally–to a certain level–while penises do not have that ability. 

Face the Taboos 

Many people in the queer community may identify as one gender, but carry the biological bits of another gender; if you are further exploring your own sexuality, or if you are parenting a child who is or is already a member of the queer community, it is important to keep this information in mind and not shy away from discussing matters of sexual health on all fronts. “The talk” has become more complicated, but it is our responsibility to remain educated and parent openly. 

Myth 2: STIs Cannot be Transmitted Between Women

Bold lie. If you were ever told that, or have a partner/friend/family member who believes that–it is a lie. STIs are transmitted mostly through the exchange of bodily fluids, and some STIs are also contracted through skin-to-skin contact. Additionally, the risk of STI transmission is higher during menstruation. 

Face the Taboos 

STIs can be transmitted through oral to vaginal/vulva contact; oral-anal contact also places the participants at high risk of infections. STIs like herpes, syphilis, hepatitis A and intestinal (gut) infections, as well as possibly gonorrhea may be transmitted in this manner. Genital contact can spread HPV, pubic lice, and herpes. Fingers-in-vagina also carry the risk of transmitting herpes, HPV and bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas, chlamydia, and gonorrhea. This is especially true if one of the partners has been previously exposed to those STIs through an infected person. Use of toys that may be inserted in the vagina or anus can absolutely place the partners at risk of infection; washing the toys is not enough– you will only be 100% safe by using condoms on them. 

Myth 3: Queer Women Don’t Need PAP smears

If the above two myths have shown us anything, it is that everyone is at risk of contracting an STI–no matter their sexual preferences. PAP smears are recommended for all sexually active women, even if they have never had sexual contact with a cisgender male. This is a good resource on HPV transmission : https://www.gmhc.org/resource_category/hiv-aids-information/   

Myth 4: There is no Safe Lesbian Sex 

Wrong! As mentioned above, the no-brainer would be to use condoms on toys (shared or not). Use different condoms for each partner, and when switching orifices. If you have any cuts or open sores on the mouth and lips, it is recommended that you use a dental dam during oral sex to protect yourself from contracting any STIs. Since some infections are transmitted by hands, always make sure that you thoroughly wash your hands before and after sex; if you have cuts or sores on your hands, you can always use a latex glove–or as many as you need! 

Any member of the queer community has the right to respectful and knowledgeable treatment by their healthcare professionals. If you are having trouble finding queer-friendly health professionals, for any health issue, in your are or somewhere you are visiting, this resource can help you locate queer-safe providers: https://www.glma.org/ 



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LGBTQ Sexual Health

By 19 Jun, 2023 Fatherhood, Mental Health, Parenting, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Most parents nowadays try to ensure their kids have a well rounded education when it comes to sexual health and safety, and “the talk” has been appropriately modified–in most households–to expand beyond the heteronormative model of sexual intimacy. Teenagers are exposed to diverse models of relationships, and abundant resources are available for those who explore their sexual and gender identity. 

Despite the positive rise, the statistics on LGBTQ-focused sex ed in schools remain low. In a 2015 survey only 12% of the Millennial participants reported that their school’s sex ed curriculum covered same-sex relationships–and that’s not even discussing sexual or gender identity. It becomes clear, then, that it is up to parents and medical professionals to be more educated, to be better allies to LGBTQ kids and youth, and to be a safe space for them. According to the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth “children’s sexual awareness starts in infancy and continues to strengthen throughout preschool and school-age years,” so no matter how young your child is, they know what’s going on with their body and it is your job as a parent to support them. 

How can I be an Ally?

Just as it is with any support system, the best way to be an ally is to educate yourself; on LGBTQ history, sex and gender terminology, legal issues, local issues in your city, school issues that may have come up in your child’s school. LGBTQ youth are more likely to be bullied in school, and to search for information on the internet– which often leads them to not credible sources. 

  1. Be a Visible Safe Person: it is important to show your kids you are supportive of the LGBTQ community, and that you are open to conversations about sex and gender. This can be as simple as bringing home a book about queer issues, or a pamphlet from your local Pride Center; you can also initiate conversations about the history, rights, and health of the LGBTQ community. Even a film night is a great way in!  
  2. Support Local Queer Organizations: if there is a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) at your child’s school, be an active participant in their efforts for inclusivity, policy, and curriculum changes. If there is a Pride Center where you live, take your kids to family-friendly events. Should a Pride Parade happen in your town or nearby, go the extra mile, or walk the rainbow mile with your kids.  
  3. Provide Reading Materials: just like with any topic, there are age-appropriate books for your child to help them learn more about the LGBTQ community. Visit your local bookstore and ask for the latest publications, and take a look at The Rainbow Collection of the American Psychological Association: https://go.maginationpress.org/rainbow-collection/ 
  4. Be a Source of Knowledge: it is impossible to be an encyclopedia for everything your child asks you. But for topics on which misinformation is rampant, is it not important to be a trustworthy source of knowledge? The CDC has an excellent LGBT Health page you can consult as a “crash course,” and they also have a list of regional LGBT Health Services. 

Use the Right Words: when your child first becomes interested in their body, or if your toddler or pre-teen asks questions, you can expand the discussion and include appropriate terminology to talk about gender, and talk with them about how pronouns are important outside of their grammar exercises. If your teen is being more direct with their questions, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) can help you and them on Inclusive Sexual Health Education, and they can also visit a well-researched and peer-edited page written for teens by teens: https://sexetc.org/ 

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Bedtime Routine

By 21 May, 2023 Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens, Your baby's health , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Whether it comes to you as an adult, or to you as a parent, or even to your family as a whole–regardless of your kids’ ages–sleep is a topic of discussion in all households. When you are a new parent, it’s almost certain that you will not sleep through the night unless your baby does; when you are parenting a toddler, you may find that bedtime is a point of contention. Like most things when it comes to parenting, the caregivers are role models: if we don’t have good sleep habits, and are not properly informed, how can we teach our children to follow a bedtime routine? 

Importance of Healthy Sleep 

Establishing a bedtime routine is helpful for not only our physical health, but also for our mental health, energy levels and ability to focus. When it comes to school-age children, receiving a good night’s sleep consistently improves their working memory, concentration and other cognitive skills, as well as attention. In the long run, this translates to better academic performance, readiness for school and other activities that require focus throughout the day, as well as sharp social skills. 

Of course, this applies to teenagers and adults as well: the better your sleep routine is, the better equipped you are to face each day and/or help your body regulate your nervous system. Sleep habits are also an element of self-care that is often overlooked, and when implemented into a family routine can have a lot of positive effects on the family dynamic. 

Bedtime Routine 

To start building a healthy bedtime routine for your children, the first thing you should remember is that you are an active participant in it–it is a family activity. The second piece of advice is to keep the routine simple and repeat it at the same time every evening, with the same order. For example, when it’s close to bedtime you can start dimming the lights down and turning off screens. Then, you can start a 4-step bedtime routine of having a snack, brushing your teeth, putting on pajamas, and reading a book. 

Some other activities that have shown positive effects when it comes to bedtime include a bath or diaper change, going to the bathroom, singing a song together or a lullaby, talking with your kid about their day, and of course cuddling/rocking. For both children and adults, the bedtime routine should consist of stress-free, non-stimulating, and soothing activities. Remember that physically and psychologically stressful activities can increase alertness, thus damaging the body’s ability to wind down. 

Like most parenting activities, even a bedtime routine is an opportunity to not only bond with your child and create memories, but also help them grow into independent adults. A simple act such as leaving the room when your child is sleepy but not fully sleeping can teach them how to fall asleep on their own. 

 

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/children-and-sleep/bedtime-routine 

https://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips

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Caring for Aging Parents

By 23 Feb, 2023 Geriatric Mental Health, Heart health, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, Nutrition, Queer Health, Women's Health , , , , , , , , , , ,

Caring for Aging Parents

With the rising costs of living, it is becoming more and more common for families to be multi-generational and house family members of all ages under one roof. More often than not, this means that elders move in with their adult children, who may have their own young families.  This is an option that families decide on between themselves, for a variety of reasons, and sometimes it is more financially feasible than living in an elders’ community or a home. In addition to the psychological and communication factors that come into play with such a decision, there are also practical accommodations that need to be considered– which are often overlooked when the aging family member appears able-bodied, but can cause serious trouble if not addressed. 

Psychological and Communication Factors 

If a new family member joins your existing family, this will necessarily change the family dynamic. All members of the welcoming family need to discuss the options available to them and decide whether adding an aging parent to their household is something they are comfortable doing. Of course, aging parents need to have a say in this: many people are not comfortable with the idea of being a dependant, or with the need to adjust to someone else’s schedule. It is a difficult transition for both parties, and it needs to be treated carefully. Keep in mind that in addition to the behavioral adjustments and changes, there will also be a need for practical changes in the home itself. 

Practical Changes 

There is a reason why many restaurants and facilities ensure they are ADA compliant, and similar adjustments need to be made in a home where an elderly person resides. The simplest examples of this would be to ensure there is a step-free entry, ideally one that can accommodate a wheelchair and/or walker. Of course, that also means there is a bedroom and full bathroom on the ground floor–possibly enforced with safety amendments like a handrail, non-slip mats, a shower chair, and raised toilet seat. 

Practical adjustments don’t necessarily mean that your house will end up looking like a hospital–this popularized, and terrifying, idea only comes around when we talk about in-home hospice, for serious cases. However, basic adjustments do mean that your home will look different, and will probably not have any throw rugs: they are the number one tripping hazard for elderly people, along with pets who are not contained. 

Diet and Healthcare 

Another common change usually involves keeping tabs on the elderly person’s healthcare, and making adjustments to the usual diet to accommodate their needs. This can range from keeping track of medications, and securing them so that only the person who needs them has access to them, to scheduling doctor appointments, ensuring transportation, interpreting medical results, and advocating for the person you are caring for. 

 

https://www.fda.gov/consumers/womens-health-topics/caring-others-resources-help-you 

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/info-2018/living-with-aging-parents.html?intcmp=AE-CAR-CAH-EOA1

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Neurodivergent Toddlers: ADHD

By 13 Jan, 2023 Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Toddler Health, Your baby's health , , , , , ,

There is a general tendency for parents to become most concerned about their children’s neurological development when it’s time for their kids to join a preschool or other educational institution. A lot of schools are aware of, and keep an eye out, for behavioral patterns that may indicate a child is neurodivergent: this can span from what is commonly referred to as learning disabilities, to ADHD, and autism. Though schools can be a great resource in helping children with neurodiverse brains walk through life, the most important coping strategies and mechanisms come from the family unit itself. In fact, there are many signs well before a child joins the school system that they may have a neurodivergent brain. 

What are those terms? 

Neurotypical children are those whose brains develop in ways that are typical for their age and stage. About 1 in 5-6 children exhibit variations in their brain development, the most common of which are dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and autism. These children can be described as neurodivergent. These differences are not something that needs to be treated, or fixed: rather, they are a part of natural variation. When we refer to treatments about neurodivergent children, we mainly talk about coping mechanisms by the child itself, the family, and the school system–in some cases, treatment does include medications as well, but in no case is the end goal to “fix” a child. 

How do I recognize the symptoms? 

Because we are talking about variations in the brains and its functions, there is no clean-cut way in which a parent can determine their child is neurodivergent. Instead, there is most usually a combination of signs in their behavior–and if you discuss the details of those with a physician or therapist, you can gain more insight into how to best accommodate your child. Let’s start with some symptoms that if persistent and repeated over the course of a few months, may indicate ADHD: 

  • Trouble with details and making careless mistakes 
  • Trouble focusing on tasks of at play, and trouble focusing when an adult speaks to them 
  • Challenges with following through on instructions, tasks, or homework as well as organizing 
  • Difficulty keeping track of their belongings and/or remembering things in daily activities

These are just a few of the signs of inattention, and if your child also displays issues of impulsivity or hyperactivity over a consistent period of time–usually more than 6 months–and seems to display 6 or more signs, you may want to consider consulting with a specialist. 

 

https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/neurodiversity-neurodivergence-guide-for-families 

https://www.iowaclinic.com/primary-care/specialties/pediatrics/early-warning-signs-adhd-children/

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Surrogate Mothers

By 08 Dec, 2022 Fatherhood, Heart health, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Procedures, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Surrogate, WNY Ob-Gyn News, Women's Health, Your baby's health

You have probably heard of couples using surrogate mothers to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term. The term is often associated with a couple’s fertility challenges, and difficult as those may be, it doesn’t stop being a wonderful way for a couple to have a baby– the parents who initiate the process are called the “intended parents,” and the individual carrying the fetus is the “surrogate mother.” Some of the reasons parents-to-be consider surrogacy may be: 

  • Trouble conceiving through IVF, which may be related to infertility of unknown origin
  • Medical issues that affect the uterus, or even a previous hysterectomy 
  • Conditions that make the pregnancy too high-risk, such as health concerns or advanced maternal age 
  • Queer couples 

If you didn’t know it, there are two types of surrogacy: traditional one and gestational surrogacy. 

Traditional Surrogacy: this is the least commonly used method of surrogacy as it comes with more legal and emotional complexities. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is both the egg donor and the surrogate mother. She uses her own eggs, and therefore has a genetic relationship to the baby. During this method, the surrogate is impregnated using intrauterine insemination. The doctor uses sperm provided by the intended father, transfers it into the uterus of the surrogate, and natural fertilization of the egg takes place from then on. As medical science advances, this type of surrogacy becomes increasingly less common. 

Gestational Surrogacy: this is the most commonly used type of surrogacy, and there is no genetic relationship between the surrogate mother and the fetus. Instead, an embryo is inserted into the surrogate’s uterus and she carries the pregnancy to term for the intended parents. To get to that point, the intended parents provide sperm and eggs–or use either/or from a donor–fertilize them and then have them inserted into the surrogate mother’s uterus using in vitro fertilization. In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate may be also called gestational carrier. 

Why this choice?

As mentioned above, there are several health reasons why intended parents may choose to find a surrogate mother. However, the decision does not have to rely on those health reasons, and it is always deeply personal and a private decision. The most common reason people choose surrogacy over adoption is that they want to have a biological connection to their child; even though familial bonds are not necessary to build a strong, happy, and healthy family, many parents do want a biological connection to their offspring. 

Surrogacy offers a safe and transparent pregnancy as the intended parents are there every step of the way. The most common concern with adoption is that the future parents do not know the medical history of the birth mother, or the father. This can raise serious concerns about their future baby’s medical history, and many parents feel uneasy not knowing whether their adoptive infant may have potentially been exposed to malnourishment or toxins in-utero. 

If you are considering a surrogate option for your family, consult with your family doctor first, and keep in mind you may also need to review your state’s laws around surrogacy agreements. 

 

https://www.surrogateparenting.com/blog/what-is-a-surrogate-mother/ 

https://www.fertilitypreservation.org/blog/when-to-consider-surrogacy-and-how-to-choose-the-right-one 



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