Adverse Childhood Experiences
When we’re getting ready to start a new family, we may find ourselves reflecting on our own childhood experiences, and comparing with our partner how each person grew up– perhaps the goal of this introspection is to create a new family that is healthy, happy, and flourishes with good communication. If you are in the process of family planning, you may want to take into account ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences.
What are they?
Adverse Childhood Experiences are traumatic events children experience between the ages of 0-17. These have long lasting effects, may lead to chronic health conditions, and people address them well into adulthood. It is important to remember that ACEs affect a child’s brain, and how they experience the world.
ACEs are quite common, with 60-80% of US adults reporting they have had at least one adverse childhood experience up until age 17, and 1 in 6 US adults saying they’ve had four or more. The most potentially traumatic ACEs can include experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect in the home, neighborhood, or school, witnessing violence in the community or otherwise living in a dangerous environment (war zone, poverty stricken areas, etc.), going through a natural disaster, witnessing serious injuries or the death of another person, losing a loved one or experiencing parental loss due to separation. However, this is by no means an exhaustive list of possible ACEs: any event that may cause trauma and long-term stress can be classified as an adverse childhood experience that adversely affects a person as an adult.
How do I know if my child has had an ACE?
The effects of a traumatic or stressful event may not be immediately visible, or take place soon after the traumatic event has occurred. If your child confides something in you that would be traumatic, then that is a clear indication of an event that would warrant immediate support–with the assistance of a mental health professional who specializes in children or teenagers.
Additionally, if you are going through something as a family, such as a divorce, death, fatal accident or illness, natural disaster, poverty, community violence, unemployment, housing and/or financial insecurity, you may want to address those events as potentially traumatic for your child. We cannot always correct or control life’s adversities, but we can recognize them for what they are and present this as a starting point to healing. If you recognize, as a family, that an event has been traumatic then this shows to your child that it’s ok for things to not be “normal”–that it’s part of life, and that our reactions or daily life will change when something happens.
If there is an event or experience that you do not know about, once your child has had time to process the experience you may start noticing signs of trauma that could include, but are not limited to: difficulty sleeping or having nightmares, wetting the bed, changes to their mood, fear of other people, difficulties in school, avoiding situations, events, or people (these may be directly associated with the traumatic event), as well as difficulty showing affection towards family and friends–especially if this is a change from their usual behavior.
How can we avoid ACEs?
The unfortunate truth is that we cannot completely eliminate ACEs, as much as we may want to. What we can do, however, is raise awareness about them so that we can all start thinking differently about childhood trauma. Historically disadvantaged populations are more susceptible to trauma, but that does not mean that everyone else is excluded. The causes may be societal, historical, natural forces, or people, but each one of us can help lessen the blow of an ACE: whether you are a parent, friend, caregiver, teacher, or neighbor. Raising awareness of ACEs means switching the focus from individual responsibility to community solutions: we can all help prevent ACEs, and help children develop strong coping mechanisms. It is important to reduce the stigma associated with parents who struggle to provide a safe environment for their children, and seek community and/or government support to do so. It is also important to remember that any one of us can promote safe, stable, and nurturing environments where children are present.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace
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