All posts in Parenting

Common Health Problems in Babies

As the parent of a newborn, you may be worried sick if they get sick; sicknesses are common in babies, especially as they are developing their immune system. There are some minor ailments that are quite common in newborns, and though they should definitely be monitored, they are not usually cause for concern or a reason to visit the doctor. 

Common Problems:

  • Stomach bugs that can cause vomiting and diarrhea are relatively common in babies and young children. They usually last only a couple of days, and you should make sure to keep your baby hydrated while they are experiencing those symptoms. 
  • Coughs, colds, and earache also often occur in babies– they normally lessen as they build their immune system. Your child may experience a runny nose, sore throat, headaches, sneezing and a raised temperature. 
  • Ear infections are also very common, and often follow a cold. You may notice them if your baby’s ear looks a little red, there is general irritability and restlessness, your baby has difficulty feeding, and there may even be discharge from their ear. 
  • Excessive crying is something that every parent expects to deal with when they have a newborn: if you’ve made sure that your baby is fed, burped, warm, and in a clean diaper your next step is probably to hold them close and try to soothe them. You will learn your baby’s cries fast, and know when they sound abnormal or excessively distressed. 

 More Serious Issues:

  • Umbilical cord problems may occur and you will likely notice them while you are caring for your baby’s umbilical cord. If the cord actively bleeds, you should call your doctor immediately. Similarly, contact your doctor if there is red skin around the base of the cord, foul-smelling discharge from the cord, and if your baby cries when you touch the cord or the skin next to it. 
  • Lethargy and sleepiness can indicate a more serious condition, especially if they appear to be completely different from your baby’s usual patterns. All babies spend a lot of time sleeping, but if your baby has trouble waking up and is disinterested in eating and their usual activities, you should call your pediatrician. 
  • Abdominal distension is a problem that can occur due to gas or constipation. After a large feeding, most babies’ bellies will stick out, but they should be soft between feedings. If your baby’s abdomen feels swollen, and they have not had a bowel movement for one or two days–especially if they are also vomiting–get in touch with your doctor. 
  • Babies tend to get rashes quite often, but if you are noticing a red/brown colored rash on your baby’s head or neck that is spreading across their body you may be dealing with early signs of measles. If your baby has a fever, sore eyes that are sensitive to light, and gray spots inside the cheeks, you should immediately seek treatment for measles. 

https://healthforunder5s.co.uk/sections/baby/minor-ailments-and-illnesses/

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/pages/Common-Conditions-in-Newborns.aspx

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Rett Syndrome: Rare Disorder

Rett Syndrom: Rare Disorder
It is possible that you may not even have heard of Rett Syndrome, as it is a very rare disorder that almost exclusively affects females. According to
Cleveland Clinic, 1 in every 10,000- 15,000 baby girls is born with Rett Syndrome–very rarely are males affected. In short, Rett syndrome is a genetic neurological disorder that affects the development of the brain and causes a progressive loss of motor skills and language over 4 stages: early onset; rapid deterioration; plateau and late motor deterioration. Most babies born with Rett Syndrome appear to develop normally until 6 months of age, when symptoms start to appear–most pronounced changes take place between 12 and 18 months of age. 

What are the Symptoms? 

As any new parent, you are likely very closely observing your child’s growth, and keeping a close eye on the development of their mental, linguistic, and motor skills. Know that before a diagnosis for Rett Syndrome is given, other conditions that may resemble its symptoms must be ruled out first. 

  • One of the first symptoms is being born with an abnormally small head–as the infant grows, there will be delayed growth in other parts of the body as well. 
  • Loss of movement and coordination abilities is another symptom. At the age when your baby should normally learn how to crawl, walk, or use their hands you may notice a rapid loss of these abilities. 
  • Loss of linguistic and communication abilities is often seen in children with Rett Syndrome as well. Children impacted by Rett may rapidly lose the ability to speak, or communicate in other ways; this can be accompanied by a loss of interest in their surroundings as well. 

Some other symptoms closely resemble more common neurological disorders–like Autism Spectrum Disorder–since children may develop unusual eye and hand movements that are repetitive and seemingly purposeless, may become increasingly and easily irritable and agitated, display intellectual disabilities, or suffer from sleep disturbances. 

How is it diagnosed?

As mentioned, since Rett Syndrome can resemble other neurological or genetic disorders, most professionals will approach it by process of elimination. Parents and caregivers play a big role in the diagnosis process as they can keep a detailed record of the child’s development and activities/responses. 

If healthcare providers deem it necessary, or parents request it, then a simple blood test is performed to look for the gene mutation MECP2 that has been known to confirm the diagnosis of Rett Syndrome. Unfortunately, this mutation is quite random (and rare) so pre-genetic testing will not show any results. In fact, the chance of passing down Rett Syndrome from a healthy parent to their child is less than 1%. If someone in your family has been diagnosed with Rett Syndrome, you would want to bring this up with your healthcare provider, but Rett is generally not an inherited condition.  

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/rett-syndrome/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20377233 

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/6089-rett-syndrome#diagnosis-and-tests 



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Baby’s First Vaccine

If your baby is at the age when the first vaccinations are needed, it is understandable that there may be some stress surrounding the upcoming visit to the doctor. Of course, any doctor’s visit with a newborn is stressful, but it can be worse if you know there will be a needle poking your baby’s skin. Not a pretty image, but a necessary one! The first thing you can do to be adequately prepared for the situation is to educate yourself first. Read up on the first vaccines that your baby needs and the advantages that come with them; ease your mind by knowing how much safer your infant will be. You may find an easily accessible vaccine schedule from birth to 18 years at the Center for Disease Control

Once you are more informed about the first vaccines your baby will be receiving, you can start preparing for the visit. A lot of nurses report that the number one factor that makes these first vaccinations difficult is the stress of the parents. It is important for your baby, and for the medical professionals, that you remain calm and as stress free as possible. If your baby feels you are calm, hears a soothing tone of voice from you, and picks up on reassuring messages, the calmer they will be and the easier the process will be. 

To prepare for the visit, you can have a talk with your child about what will happen. You can use simple words, or imitate the motions that the doctor will perform to help them understand. Remain relaxed and upbeat while you are explaining this, and during the vaccination. Heading to the doctor’s office, you may want to bring your child’s favorite toys with you, or other items that give them comfort. That way, they will be able to focus on something pleasant. 

If you are breastfeeding, it is a good idea to breastfeed right before your baby receives the vaccine. Breastfeeding is a great way to provide comforting close contact and help relax your child. You can also ask your doctor to give your baby something sweet two minutes before the shot: a small amount of sweetness can help reduce the pain of the shot. Another possibility is to ask for a pain relieving ointment or spray. This can be one your doctor provides you with and you apply before the visit, or a topical cooling spray that they will apply before the shot. Both options topically block the pain signals from the skin. Right before the shot, try to distract your child by pulling their attention away from the doctor; it can be as simple as calling their name, singing their favorite song, or telling a story. Keep the distraction going even after the vaccine is given. 

After the shot is given, comfort your child by holding them close, or swaddling them. Close contact, whispers, and cuddles are all helping reduce the stress and distract from the pain. If your child has mild reactions from the shot, like topical swelling or a mild fever, don’t be alarmed as these are normal reactions. If something concerns you, however, always contact your doctor and seek further medical advice and help. 



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Language Development

One of the biggest milestones in a toddler’s life is when they first start to use words and display other communication skills, beyond crying. Early language development may look different for each toddler–we do have to remember they are individual people, after all–but here are some key milestones that are expected for each age group: 

1 year old: by this time, your toddler should be able to say a handful of words. Of course, this is in addition to babbling, and the key skill of trying to imitate your voice! They are trying to imitate the sounds they hear, and at this age you should be hearing consonants and vowels coming clearly out of your baby’s mouth. You may also notice that they are using hand and body gestures to communicate certain needs or activities, like pointing to their toys for play time or touching their mouth for snacks. This is a normal process of cognitive development, and you can help enhance it by talking to them as much as possible and helping them follow simple directions by associating words with movements, like saying “up” and helping lift them. 

2 years old: this is the point where your toddler should have a steady vocabulary they are repeating, and they begin to expand it. You can help them by reading more and more stories to them, or using more advanced language than before. Additionally, they are able to comprehend sentence structure (slowly) and you may see them using two-word sentences and linking words. Building on their conquered skills of body gestures, they are now able to identify objects and body parts and clearly name them. 2 y/os may also exhibit understanding of slightly more abstract concepts, such as using pronouns. 

3 years old: your toddler should have advanced to forming simple sentences and speaking clearly by this age. This goes hand in hand with their ability to string multiple words together. You can help expand this skill by repeating their word combinations back to them every time they use them, and model new word combinations to encourage them to try them. Toddlers at this age are also able to use the correct words to identify both objects and needs. Since their cognitive abilities are growing, you will also notice they can follow two part requests like “Please pick up your shoes and put them on the shelf.” 

4 years old: this is considered an age when your toddler is turning into a child, so you will see more advanced language patterns emerge– like them creating more complex sentences and annunciating them clearly. Your child should also be able to identify shapes, colors, and letters, especially if those appear on objects they see often. Their ability to understand more abstract concepts will be more advanced, and they start recognizing the concept of time, like moments throughout the day. It is not unlikely that your child can now follow complex requests, and voice their own wants and needs in more complex sentences, or multi-part sentences.  

 

https://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/development/language/language-development-milestones-ages-1-to-4/ 

https://www.teachearlyyears.com/learning-and-development/view/7-ways-to-support-language-development 



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Visiting a Newborn: Do’s and Don’ts

Whether you are a parent, a close friend, or a family member, the arrival of a newborn is exciting, and no doubt you are looking forward to meeting the new member of the group! Many close family members tend to directly assume they can visit the newborn, while friends and extended family may be a little more careful. However, there is no one-rule-fits-all when it comes to these situations. In fact, the key rule is to check in with the parents first as this is solely their decision: childbirth is a painful and difficult journey, no matter how rewarding it may be. The new family may or may not feel comfortable accepting guests. 

What can both guests and hosts do to make this experience enjoyable, and most importantly, safe for the baby? 

The 4 DOs

  1. Discuss with your partner beforehand how you want to handle guests: who is allowed to visit fresh out of the hospital and for how long? Communicate your decisions to family and friends. 
  2. Check in with the new parents about the visit: schedule a visit, check in at the last minute, respect any changes; follow the new family’s rules.
  3. Be up to date with your vaccines, visit only if you are feeling well, wash your hands before touching the baby, and remove any jewelry from your hands. 
  4. It’s very important to offer to help if you are visiting a family with a newborn: whether that’s bringing a meal, or taking their dog out for a walk, it can be of tremendous help to the new parents. 

Here are some actions that are ill-advised when visiting a newborn: 

The 4 DON’Ts

  1. Babies are susceptible to germs and viruses: don’t take your newborn into crowded, or loud, places before they’ve had time to build their immune system. If you need to get out of the house, ask for help taking care of the baby. 
  2. Don’t bring little kids– while no doubt they are also looking forward to meeting the new baby, little kids carry the additional risk of germ exposure. Also, extra visitors can cause more anxiety for the new parents. 
  3. Avoid putting your face close to the baby’s. Adorable as it may be, such close contact is a risk as mouths carry a lot of germs. Don’t be surprised if the parents ask you to wear a mask.
  4. Don’t take pictures of the baby without the parents’ permission! Most importantly, don’t post pictures on social media without asking the parents first.  

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list of what you should or shouldn’t do when visiting a family with a newborn–just some basic rules you should follow to make it more comfortable for the new parents and to avoid any misunderstandings. Some families are ok with much more socialization than you may expect, and may actively seek it, while some others may choose to be more reclusive when they bring their new baby back home from the hospital. Always follow the family’s rules and decisions! 

https://www.hopkinsallchildrens.org/ACH-News/General-News/New-Parents-and-Newborns-Are-Visitors-OK 

https://www.owletcare.com/blog/7-key-rules-visiting-newborn 



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Birth Plan

If you are an expectant mother, and relatively close to delivery, you may have already started working on your birth plan. Or, you may be gathering information and becoming informed even while you are planning your pregnancy! Regardless of your timeline, it’s always a good time to consider your birth plan. Perhaps you have already heard that no delivery will go according to plan, and you need to have different options. While this is true, the suggested rule of thumb is to be well informed and flexible, as you may have to make last minute decisions and consider emergency changes; the goal is for the baby and the delivering mother to be safe and healthy. 

There are sample birth plans available in a variety of websites, but no plan is as good as the one you create yourself, personalize with your own tone and preferences, and one that addresses your medical team directly. Consider your birth plan a direct request to your OBGYN and the nurses that meet you at the labor and delivery ward. It should be easy to read, 1-2 pages long, formatted with bullet-points, personal statements and politely phrased requests; this shows you are well informed, educated, and engaged in your delivery process and take a serious interest in the delivery of your baby. If your birth plan decisions are based on medical conditions or previous delivery experiences, don’t hesitate to include a short description of those as well– it helps your medical team to know why your wishes are there. 

Check-off lists and pre-written birth plans almost never address the most important decisions during delivery: pain management and c-sections. In an ideal world, you would have completed a child-preparation program before creating your birth plan. While this may not always be possible, you can consider a book or video course. However, what will really help is for you to tour your birthing facility and learn of the options offered for birthing position, pain management, and newborn care. This is abundantly helpful especially if you require specific props for your birthing positions. If, for example, you request a birthing stool or bar, you need to ensure not only that your birthing facility has those available for you, but also that you are personally educated on how to use them. 

Keep in mind that you need to have a contingency plan in place, in case your initial wishes need to be adapted for your safety and the health of your baby. Though very few women opt for a C-section, you always need to be prepared for one. Note in your plan if you wish to receive medications that affect your consciousness, if you want to receive Pitocin for labor augmentation, and whether or not you want to receive an epidural. In case you decline an epidural, you should explain in your birth plan how you have prepared for this decision and what your pain-management plan is. 

The scary parts of your birth plan are the most important, almost like two sides of the same coin. Remember that you can, and should, write personal choices and wishes in your birth plan as well: who do you want present during labor, if you wish to place limitations on visitors, any allergies you may have, the contact information of your delivery team (partner, family or friends, doula, OBGYN, etc.), your wishes for newborn care and immediate postpartum care and preferences. Personalize your birth plan and go over it with your doctor, and those responsible for caring and supporting you, well in advance of your due date.

 

https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/labor-and-birth/birth-plan/ 

https://childrensmd.org/uncategorized/writing-a-birth-plan-10-essential-tips-from-a-pediatrician-and-mom-of-5/

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Neurodivergent Toddlers: ADHD

There is a general tendency for parents to become most concerned about their children’s neurological development when it’s time for their kids to join a preschool or other educational institution. A lot of schools are aware of, and keep an eye out, for behavioral patterns that may indicate a child is neurodivergent: this can span from what is commonly referred to as learning disabilities, to ADHD, and autism. Though schools can be a great resource in helping children with neurodiverse brains walk through life, the most important coping strategies and mechanisms come from the family unit itself. In fact, there are many signs well before a child joins the school system that they may have a neurodivergent brain. 

What are those terms? 

Neurotypical children are those whose brains develop in ways that are typical for their age and stage. About 1 in 5-6 children exhibit variations in their brain development, the most common of which are dyslexia, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, and autism. These children can be described as neurodivergent. These differences are not something that needs to be treated, or fixed: rather, they are a part of natural variation. When we refer to treatments about neurodivergent children, we mainly talk about coping mechanisms by the child itself, the family, and the school system–in some cases, treatment does include medications as well, but in no case is the end goal to “fix” a child. 

How do I recognize the symptoms? 

Because we are talking about variations in the brains and its functions, there is no clean-cut way in which a parent can determine their child is neurodivergent. Instead, there is most usually a combination of signs in their behavior–and if you discuss the details of those with a physician or therapist, you can gain more insight into how to best accommodate your child. Let’s start with some symptoms that if persistent and repeated over the course of a few months, may indicate ADHD: 

  • Trouble with details and making careless mistakes 
  • Trouble focusing on tasks of at play, and trouble focusing when an adult speaks to them 
  • Challenges with following through on instructions, tasks, or homework as well as organizing 
  • Difficulty keeping track of their belongings and/or remembering things in daily activities

These are just a few of the signs of inattention, and if your child also displays issues of impulsivity or hyperactivity over a consistent period of time–usually more than 6 months–and seems to display 6 or more signs, you may want to consider consulting with a specialist. 

 

https://raisingchildren.net.au/guides/a-z-health-reference/neurodiversity-neurodivergence-guide-for-families 

https://www.iowaclinic.com/primary-care/specialties/pediatrics/early-warning-signs-adhd-children/

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Prenatal Education Classes 

A vast number of expecting parents choose to educate themselves on issues of pregnancy, delivery, and caring for a newborn. Though documentaries and books are very helpful, birthing education classes are also a popular choice among prospective parents, or returning parents. Many couples find this to be a bonding experience, as both parties become educated on matters of prenatal care, delivery, and postpartum care. Additionally, it helps build a community–and even friendships–as concerns are shared among other expectant parents. Most importantly, you can share questions, concerns and fears in a safe and well informed environment with an experienced instructor by your side and become more and more confident in your body’s ability to give birth. 

To start off, there are two types of classes: hospital-based ones and ones outside the hospital. In both cases, your instructor will discuss pain relief options, breathing techniques and medications, and even show you some supportive massage techniques. Emotional aspects, coping and relaxation skills, as well as the physiology of labor and birth are also topics covered in off-hospital birthing classes. Those are often the spaces where you discuss the different childbirth options. 

If you opt for a hospital birth, and are taking a prenatal class located in a hospital, you will most likely receive a basic overview of labor and birth practices specific to the hospital of your choice. Additionally, you will get the chance to tour the facilities and see the staff in action and ask questions regarding routine practices–such as freedom of movement during labor. 

However, even if you are starting from zero and have no idea about what method of childbirth you want to follow, how to construct a birth plan, what are the best practices that work for you during pregnancy and labor, it is important to consider some credible elements when choosing a birthing class: 

  • Make sure the instructor is certified to teach childbirth classes 
  • Consider whether the class’s philosophy suits you
  • What are the topics covered in the curriculum and what is the cost of the class 
  • What is the extent of partner participation and education 
  • How many couples are in the class and how often does it take place
  • Does the class focus on one birthing philosophy or multiple? How well rounded and open minded is the curriculum and the instructor? 

You may locate credible birthing classes through your physician or hospital, family and friends, pregnancy centers, as well as community resource centers. Two Buffalo-based options include Buffalo Birth & Baby that covers a variety of areas, and offers support through all the pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum stages–and even offers online classes! Buffalo Doula Services offers not only educational materials and classes, but also hands-on support with widely experienced doulas to fit each family’s needs. 

 

https://americanpregnancy.org/healthy-pregnancy/labor-and-birth/childbirth-education-classes/ 

https://buffalobirthandbaby.com/ 

https://www.buffalodoulaservices.com/ 



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Surrogate Mothers

You have probably heard of couples using surrogate mothers to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term. The term is often associated with a couple’s fertility challenges, and difficult as those may be, it doesn’t stop being a wonderful way for a couple to have a baby– the parents who initiate the process are called the “intended parents,” and the individual carrying the fetus is the “surrogate mother.” Some of the reasons parents-to-be consider surrogacy may be: 

  • Trouble conceiving through IVF, which may be related to infertility of unknown origin
  • Medical issues that affect the uterus, or even a previous hysterectomy 
  • Conditions that make the pregnancy too high-risk, such as health concerns or advanced maternal age 
  • Queer couples 

If you didn’t know it, there are two types of surrogacy: traditional one and gestational surrogacy. 

Traditional Surrogacy: this is the least commonly used method of surrogacy as it comes with more legal and emotional complexities. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is both the egg donor and the surrogate mother. She uses her own eggs, and therefore has a genetic relationship to the baby. During this method, the surrogate is impregnated using intrauterine insemination. The doctor uses sperm provided by the intended father, transfers it into the uterus of the surrogate, and natural fertilization of the egg takes place from then on. As medical science advances, this type of surrogacy becomes increasingly less common. 

Gestational Surrogacy: this is the most commonly used type of surrogacy, and there is no genetic relationship between the surrogate mother and the fetus. Instead, an embryo is inserted into the surrogate’s uterus and she carries the pregnancy to term for the intended parents. To get to that point, the intended parents provide sperm and eggs–or use either/or from a donor–fertilize them and then have them inserted into the surrogate mother’s uterus using in vitro fertilization. In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate may be also called gestational carrier. 

Why this choice?

As mentioned above, there are several health reasons why intended parents may choose to find a surrogate mother. However, the decision does not have to rely on those health reasons, and it is always deeply personal and a private decision. The most common reason people choose surrogacy over adoption is that they want to have a biological connection to their child; even though familial bonds are not necessary to build a strong, happy, and healthy family, many parents do want a biological connection to their offspring. 

Surrogacy offers a safe and transparent pregnancy as the intended parents are there every step of the way. The most common concern with adoption is that the future parents do not know the medical history of the birth mother, or the father. This can raise serious concerns about their future baby’s medical history, and many parents feel uneasy not knowing whether their adoptive infant may have potentially been exposed to malnourishment or toxins in-utero. 

If you are considering a surrogate option for your family, consult with your family doctor first, and keep in mind you may also need to review your state’s laws around surrogacy agreements. 

 

https://www.surrogateparenting.com/blog/what-is-a-surrogate-mother/ 

https://www.fertilitypreservation.org/blog/when-to-consider-surrogacy-and-how-to-choose-the-right-one 



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Paternal Involvement

It is quite usual in our society for the mother to be the primary caregiver to a newborn baby, toddlers and kids. That is not to say that fathers are absent, but the stereotype of Super Mom has been created by a general tendency to place fathers in the workforce and mothers in the home. In 2022, the US Census Bureau reported that 1 in 4 children in the US grow up without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home– that amounts to 18.4 Million children!

The National Fatherhood Initiative reports several negative effects associated with paternal absence in the home, some of which include: 

  • 4x greater risk of poverty for the family 
  • Children are more likely to have behavioral problems, which may lead to them dropping out of school, teen pregnancies, imprisonment, drug and alcohol abuse, commiting crimes etc. 
  • Greater chances of facing emotional neglect and abuse. 

On the other hand, a father’s active and involved presence in the home can mean a strong foundation for the well-being of the children, including some of the following advantages: 

  • Lower rates of injuries, emotional and behavioral problems, and obesity 
  • The chances of low birth weight and infant mortality significantly decrease as well
  • School performance is increased 

In 2017, King’s College London and Oxford University Researchers found that actively involved fathers, and especially those who contribute in their childs’ life in the first few months, are providing significant developmental advantages to their children. Involved fathers positively impact their children’s cognitive functioning, improve breastfeeding rates, and even help preterm infants gain healthy weight. High levels of father involvement correlate with higher levels of social confidence, good social skills, self-control, and overall boosted emotional well-being. Such as the negative effects of fatherly absence persist into adulthood, so do the positive effects of fatherly involvement: the presence of both parents leads to adult children who are more emotionally mature, and better equipped to make mature and wise decisions in their teenage and young adult years. 

It is important to remember that it is the quality and not the quantity of paternal involvement that can have a great effect on children’s lives: non-resident fathers can still have a great impact on the psychological and mental well being of their children, as well as on their academic achievements and behavioral adjustments. Children with actively involved fathers are more likely to perform better in school, and to follow through with their college and graduate education. Even more specifically, father involvement shows reduced risk for behavioral problems and delinquency in boys, and reduced risk of psychological problems and rates of depression in young women. 

 

https://www.all4kids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/ 

https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic 



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