All posts in New Moms

Surrogate Mothers

You have probably heard of couples using surrogate mothers to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term. The term is often associated with a couple’s fertility challenges, and difficult as those may be, it doesn’t stop being a wonderful way for a couple to have a baby– the parents who initiate the process are called the “intended parents,” and the individual carrying the fetus is the “surrogate mother.” Some of the reasons parents-to-be consider surrogacy may be: 

  • Trouble conceiving through IVF, which may be related to infertility of unknown origin
  • Medical issues that affect the uterus, or even a previous hysterectomy 
  • Conditions that make the pregnancy too high-risk, such as health concerns or advanced maternal age 
  • Queer couples 

If you didn’t know it, there are two types of surrogacy: traditional one and gestational surrogacy. 

Traditional Surrogacy: this is the least commonly used method of surrogacy as it comes with more legal and emotional complexities. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is both the egg donor and the surrogate mother. She uses her own eggs, and therefore has a genetic relationship to the baby. During this method, the surrogate is impregnated using intrauterine insemination. The doctor uses sperm provided by the intended father, transfers it into the uterus of the surrogate, and natural fertilization of the egg takes place from then on. As medical science advances, this type of surrogacy becomes increasingly less common. 

Gestational Surrogacy: this is the most commonly used type of surrogacy, and there is no genetic relationship between the surrogate mother and the fetus. Instead, an embryo is inserted into the surrogate’s uterus and she carries the pregnancy to term for the intended parents. To get to that point, the intended parents provide sperm and eggs–or use either/or from a donor–fertilize them and then have them inserted into the surrogate mother’s uterus using in vitro fertilization. In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate may be also called gestational carrier. 

Why this choice?

As mentioned above, there are several health reasons why intended parents may choose to find a surrogate mother. However, the decision does not have to rely on those health reasons, and it is always deeply personal and a private decision. The most common reason people choose surrogacy over adoption is that they want to have a biological connection to their child; even though familial bonds are not necessary to build a strong, happy, and healthy family, many parents do want a biological connection to their offspring. 

Surrogacy offers a safe and transparent pregnancy as the intended parents are there every step of the way. The most common concern with adoption is that the future parents do not know the medical history of the birth mother, or the father. This can raise serious concerns about their future baby’s medical history, and many parents feel uneasy not knowing whether their adoptive infant may have potentially been exposed to malnourishment or toxins in-utero. 

If you are considering a surrogate option for your family, consult with your family doctor first, and keep in mind you may also need to review your state’s laws around surrogacy agreements. 

 

https://www.surrogateparenting.com/blog/what-is-a-surrogate-mother/ 

https://www.fertilitypreservation.org/blog/when-to-consider-surrogacy-and-how-to-choose-the-right-one 



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Paternal Involvement

It is quite usual in our society for the mother to be the primary caregiver to a newborn baby, toddlers and kids. That is not to say that fathers are absent, but the stereotype of Super Mom has been created by a general tendency to place fathers in the workforce and mothers in the home. In 2022, the US Census Bureau reported that 1 in 4 children in the US grow up without a biological, step, or adoptive father in the home– that amounts to 18.4 Million children!

The National Fatherhood Initiative reports several negative effects associated with paternal absence in the home, some of which include: 

  • 4x greater risk of poverty for the family 
  • Children are more likely to have behavioral problems, which may lead to them dropping out of school, teen pregnancies, imprisonment, drug and alcohol abuse, commiting crimes etc. 
  • Greater chances of facing emotional neglect and abuse. 

On the other hand, a father’s active and involved presence in the home can mean a strong foundation for the well-being of the children, including some of the following advantages: 

  • Lower rates of injuries, emotional and behavioral problems, and obesity 
  • The chances of low birth weight and infant mortality significantly decrease as well
  • School performance is increased 

In 2017, King’s College London and Oxford University Researchers found that actively involved fathers, and especially those who contribute in their childs’ life in the first few months, are providing significant developmental advantages to their children. Involved fathers positively impact their children’s cognitive functioning, improve breastfeeding rates, and even help preterm infants gain healthy weight. High levels of father involvement correlate with higher levels of social confidence, good social skills, self-control, and overall boosted emotional well-being. Such as the negative effects of fatherly absence persist into adulthood, so do the positive effects of fatherly involvement: the presence of both parents leads to adult children who are more emotionally mature, and better equipped to make mature and wise decisions in their teenage and young adult years. 

It is important to remember that it is the quality and not the quantity of paternal involvement that can have a great effect on children’s lives: non-resident fathers can still have a great impact on the psychological and mental well being of their children, as well as on their academic achievements and behavioral adjustments. Children with actively involved fathers are more likely to perform better in school, and to follow through with their college and graduate education. Even more specifically, father involvement shows reduced risk for behavioral problems and delinquency in boys, and reduced risk of psychological problems and rates of depression in young women. 

 

https://www.all4kids.org/news/blog/a-fathers-impact-on-child-development/ 

https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic 



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Baby’s First Holidays

It is widely known that holidays are one of the most stressful times of the year– though toddlers and children seem to enjoy them, and there is a certain magic that comes with it all, we should remember this comes at the expense of parents, and especially mothers. Holiday stress increases if you have just welcomed a new member in your family, and are trying to juggle a newborn baby and holiday traditions. There is no simpler way to put it than: focus on you and your baby. As a new mother, this is honestly the only thing you should be worried about; keeping yourself and your baby healthy and safe. However, reality is not always ideal. Here are some tips that may help lessen the holiday stress if you are facing such an incredible combination: 

  1. Change your expectations: you already knew your life would drastically change with a newborn, and if this happened into the holiday season there is no reason why this would be any different. We are creatures of habit and there is something comforting in having a decorated house, attending family gatherings, consuming holiday food, and participating in festivities. However, letting go of traditional expectations with a newborn during the holidays can significantly lessen your stress, and help you get through the season in a calm, and happy, manner. Nobody expects you to be the perfect hostess, or even guest, if you have just given birth– and you should not be expecting that of yourself either. Meals can wait, Christmas trees can become a simple wreath or a premade tree, but your baby’s first few weeks will not come back: savor that time with your family, and all else will come in due time. 
  2. Simplify your days: to-do lists and preparations often become hectic around the holidays (more so than usual!). Remember, however, that this is not the time to go all out on Christmas decorations, gifts, meals, or anything else. If you feel like you have the energy for some of it, or if leaning into the holiday spirit will help you to feel less stressed, be selective with what you choose to put on your plate. Perhaps a short visit to the Christmas market this year is more manageable than standing long hours at the mall to see Santa– it may be more enjoyable, and leave you with some energy for the rest of the day. Or, you can have a family gift craft session at home instead of going out at all. 
  3. Ask for help: isn’t helping others part of the holiday spirit? Why not take advantage of that now more than ever, and lean into your close family and friends to assist you in holiday activities, bring the festivities into your home or in a chill space, and help take care of you and your newborn? Select people you trust, set boundaries on how much or how little you can handle, and shape up those days in a design you can easily manage. Delegating responsibilities during this time is the best gift you can give to yourself, and you would be surprised how many people will be happy to offer their assistance in practical ways! 

 

There are ways to embrace the holiday spirit and experience the magic of the festive season that don’t have to exhaust you; if you and your newborn are healthy and feel like you can manage a balance between traditional holiday activities and new ideas or reconfigurations, experiencing the magic in small ways will be extremely rewarding! 

 

https://theeverymom.com/family-traditions-creative-new-ideas/ 

https://healthblog.uofmhealth.org/childrens-health/could-holiday-stress-be-affecting-your-childs-holiday-joy

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Gestational Diabetes

You may be familiar with Diabetes Type 1 and Type 2, but did you know there is also a bonus one, called Gestational Diabetes Mellitus– or Gestational Diabetes for short? Gestational Diabetes is diabetes that’s diagnosed for the first time during the gestation period, aka pregnancy. Contrary to Type 1 diabetes, GDM is not caused by a lack of insulin. Instead, it is caused by hormones produced during pregnancy that make insulin ineffective. This is also known as insulin resistance, whereby the mother’s body does not use insulin as it should. Like other types of diabetes, GDM affects how cells use sugar. About 3-8% of pregnant people in the US are diagnosed with gestational diabetes; its symptoms disappear after delivery, and the great news is that you can help control gestational diabetes! 

Symptoms: gestational diabetes does not have any symptoms on its own, except increased thirst and frequent urination (which could be pregnancy related regardless). If you are risk for Type 1 diabetes because one of your parents or siblings has it, or at risk for Type 2 diabetes because you are prediabetic, over 45 y/o, may be overweight, don’t exercise often, or have previously had gestational diabetes, your doctor may deem you are at high risk for GDM and suggest you be tested. 

Risks: GDM is not like Type 1 Diabetes which can cause birth defects–in fact, GDM arrives too late in a pregnancy to cause any birth defects. Insulin resistance starts showing up around Week 24. Therefore, and thankfully, the complications are manageable and preventable. Generally, gestational diabetes may cause macrosomia and hypoglycemia, which are the two major health issues associated with it. Macrosomia refers to an excessively large fetus and hypoglycemia refers to low blood sugar in the baby immediately after delivery. 

Treatment: there are available treatments for gestational diabetes, and many depend on your age, overall health, and medical history. However, the most common ways to manage GDM are to regularly check your blood sugar so it stays on healthy levels, creating a healthy eating plan with your doctor and following it, being active, and monitoring your baby. 

As is the case with any pregnancy complication, it is understandable that it may cause you stress. While there is no certain way to prevent stress, do know that gestational diabetes is very manageable and has very low health risks for your baby. In fact, your own stress may cause more complications during pregnancy than gestational diabetes. You can better gauge your risk for GDM by checking your family history and having a general health assessment with your doctor early on in, or even before, your pregnancy. It is advisable to attend all your prenatal appointments, voice your concerns with your doctor, and maintain a healthy lifestyle to address the possible risks of gestational diabetes. 

 

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/gestational-diabetes/symptoms-causes/syc-20355339 

https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/gestational.html 

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/diabetes/gestational-diabetes 



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Nursing Mothers at Work

Most new mothers dread the day they’ll have to return to work and leave their newborn at home, or at a daycare facility. It is undoubtedly difficult to get back into a work/home routine when you feel like you haven’t had enough time with your newborn baby–and in most cases, mothers in the Western World do not receive adequate maternal leave. The situation is made even more difficult for mothers who breastfeed their babies: a newborn requires a rigid feeding schedule, and the nursing mother cannot risk interrupting her body’s breastfeeding schedule.

Breastfeeding babies in the workplace is almost unheard of, unless you work from home or your employer provides newborn daycare right in your work building. What most nursing mothers are faced with is the option to express milk in the workplace. 

Even though in 2010 Congress made an amendment to the Fair Labor Standards Act by passing the Break Time for Nursing Mothers Law, many new mothers face breastfeeding discrimination in the workplace. This primarily means that work environments do not offer appropriate accommodations for nursing mothers to express milk in a clean, sanitized, and private space. It also means, as a 2004 study has also shown, that workplaces do not provide new mothers with enough breaks during an 8-hour workday for them to adequately pump and maintain their milk production. In short, you should not be running to your car, unbuttoning your blouse as you’re running to the underground garage, adjusting the pump in the elevator and pumping for 10 minutes in your vehicle: you have waaaay more rights than that, and employers are required by law to provide you with accommodations. 

Before we look into some of the ways in which employers can support new mothers, we should say that workplaces which show consistent support to new mothers and their needs tend to have a more positive work environment, and thus are more likely to be successful in their labor. 

  1. Adequate Private Space & Appropriate Amenities: workplaces are required to provide a private space for nursing employees that is not a bathroom. This doesn’t need to be a permanent space; it can be a temporarily converted office with a lock on the door, and with the reassurance that other employees cannot see into the room. Ideally, this space should also have electrical outlets, a sink, a comfortable seat and not harsh fluorescent lighting, and a small fridge for milk storage. Some places partner with other locations that do have a dedicated lactation room to provide their employees with the necessary facilities. 
  2. Reasonable Break Time: nursing employees should be allowed enough breaks to adequately pump at least 2-3 times during an 8-hour workday, and this should come with the understanding that the necessary time differs based on each person. There should be no negative consequences or withheld compensation for the time an employee needs for pumping during the workday. 

It is of extreme importance to have a written lactation policy that outlines the employees’ rights and the employers’ responsibilities when it comes to nursing individuals. If you have concerns about this policy at your workplace, you can consult the US Department of Labor, or the United States Breastfeeding Committee

 

https://www.dimaghawi.com/dimas-blog/4-important-ways-to-accommodate-nursing-mothers-in-the-workplace 

https://www.womenshealth.gov/supporting-nursing-moms-work/what-law-says-about-breastfeeding-and-work/what-employers-need-know#1 



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Breast Self-Exam

It is common practice at your regular OBGYN appointment for your doctor to perform a breast
exam, by using their hands and examining the overall the look of your breasts. Though this is no
substitute for a mammogram, which adult women are advised to have done yearly, it is a useful
method to see whether there are any visible or tactile abnormalities on your breasts. In fact, 40%
of breast cancers were diagnosed because women noticed something unusual about their breasts.

Is this something I can do at home?
Absolutely—and it is a good idea to perform a self-breast examination once every month. Consider it a monthly inspection you deserve, and one that at the very least helps you learn your body better. Using your eyes and hands for this examination, you can develop your own breast awareness and be able to immediately identify changes—should there be any, fingers crossed not!

What do I do?
First and foremost, it is important to choose a time of the month when your breast will not be as tender since this can cloud the results of the inspection. Ideally, during a time when you are not menstruating or ovulating. Secondly, remember you can (and probably should) ask your doctor or nurse practitioner for a demonstration on how to do this at home.

The most effective technique is to start with a visual examination of your breasts. Stand shirtless and braless in front of the mirror, with no-shadow casting light if possible, and place your hands at your sides. Look for any changes in size, shape, possible asymmetry, dimpling, or puckering. Check to see if your nipples are inverted. Then, inspect your breasts in a similar manner but after raising your hands above your head, palms pressed together forming an A shape. You can also lift your breasts and inspect whether the ridges on the bottom are symmetrical. Should you not trust your own vision, or if you have a visual impairment, it’s a good idea to ask a partner, trusted family member or friend, to help you with this.

Is this all?
The visual inspection is the first step. Next, you want to use the pads of your three middle
fingers. If you can’t sense very well with the pads of your fingers you can use your palm or the
backs of your fingers. You can do the tactile inspection in the shower or lying down (that way,
the breast tissue spreads and it’s easier to feel).

Now, take your time, don’t rush, and establish a routine for this part. If you do it clockwise every
time, for example, and in the same order, then after a few times you will be better able to judge
any changes in the pattern of your breasts. The goal here is to feel the depths of the breast using
different levels of pressure—so you can go over the whole tissue. Closest to the skin, use light
pressure. As you go try to feel a little deeper, use medium pressure. Closest to the chest and ribs,
use firmer pressure.

Remember that you are not looking for anything in particular, you are just learning the patterns
of your breasts. So, take deep breaths, take your time, remind yourself this is being done
absolutely for preventative reasons—just like flossing!

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Exhaustion in Women

exhaustionLiving in a world that is becoming increasingly busy and fast-paced necessitates that we remain active, or even hyperactive, for long amounts of time. Just because that has become the standard, however, does not mean we should accept exhaustion and low energy levels—especially if we feel this way the majority of the time—as the standard. It is understandable that women may face even more responsibilities in their daily lives, trying to balance their work life and families, personal life, and friendships, as well as the duties of motherhood. But constant exhaustion experienced by someone who is generally healthy, and lives a generally healthy lifestyle, is a cause for concern.

Here are some of the possible factors that may be contributing to constant fatigue and low energy:

Poor Quality Sleep: even if our busy lifestyle keeps us on our toes, adults actually need seven to eight hours of sleep a night, but that is rarely the case. However, establishing a sleep schedule that revolves around going to bed at the same time and waking up at the same time every day can be very beneficial to prevent exhaustion. It is important to sleep in a cool, dark, place with limited distractions and preferably no electronics.

Sleep Apnea: pretty close to the poor quality of sleep many adults experience is the phenomenon of sleep apnea. This is a condition that can make quality sleep almost impossible, characterized by snoring and interrupted breathing. Even if you end up sleeping through the night, it’s likely you’ll still be drowsy during the daytime, which leads to exhaustion.

Thyroid Problems: they most commonly affect women, especially middle-aged women. In addition to affecting your heart rate and metabolism, a hyperactive thyroid can cause you to feel burnt out. On the other hand, an underperforming thyroid can make you feel sluggish. If you are suspecting this is the cause of your exhaustion, discuss thyroid replacement hormone options with your doctor.

Iron Deficiency: this is a pretty common condition among women, as menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause cause female bodies to need more iron. Actually, few women get the amount of iron they actually need many times leading to anemia. Anemia’s most common symptoms are fatigue and weakness.

Before you venture into medical explorations, it is also advised that you consider lifestyle factors that may be affecting your energy levels. For example, excess physical activity can cause you to feel exhausted, and a sedentary lifestyle may cause you to feel weak and fatigued. Alcohol or drug use, as well as medications like antihistamines or cough syrup, can also lead to feeling tired. Unhealthy eating habits or an unbalanced diet are likely to contribute to general exhaustion.

 

 

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Postpartum Self Care

postpartumComing home from the hospital with your newborn can be as exciting as it can be overwhelming! All the months, or even years, of preparing for this moment are coming to fruition, and the family is ready to welcome the newborn. But perhaps as a new mother you are not prepared for the effect that giving your all to your baby may have on you and your body… like most new mothers, you are aware of the possibility of postpartum depression, changes in your intimate life, and all the challenges the come with adjusting to life after giving birth.

These are just some suggestions of what you can do to take care of yourself during the postpartum period:

  1. Plan something special for yourself. After being overwhelmed and out of your home, as well as going through labor, it can feel very refreshing to have something special waiting for you: a new pair of socks, your favorite ice cream, or a small cosmetic item.
  2. Enjoy things that remind you of who you are. In the first few days after giving birth, it can feel as if your whole existence is part of your baby, or that you only exist in relation to your newborn. It is important to find small things that help you invest in yourself as a person, so you can continue the personal growth that will allow you to be the best parent you can. Spend a few minutes reading a book or listening to an audiobook or podcast while doing laundry—you deserve a mental break from being a parent!
  3. Prioritize rest and relaxation. One of the most common challenges of being a new parent is sleep deprivation, and it can make any situation feel much worse than it is. With a newborn, it may not be possible to sleep through the night. However, you can develop the habit of taking naps whenever possible or trying to carve out some time for a relaxing shower.
  4. Accept help from others. Though you may feel like a super-mom, you don’t need to be! Friends and family, as well as people who love you, are there for you and your baby. Whenever possible, reach out and ask for help with even simple everyday tasks. Someone helping you clean the kitchen or taking out the trash can feel like a tremendous gift when your days and nights are spent taking care of your newborn.

In addition to these postpartum practices, you may want to consider some self-care items that can help your mind and body feel better and heal. This can be a massage oil to help sore muscles, nipple balm to help you with breastfeeding, a weighted blanket to create calming effects and soothe overstimulated nerves, or a sleep mask to help you snooze during the day. You may also want to consider a neck and back massager or a cozy robe. If you can afford it, this would be an optimal time to hire a house cleaning service as well!

 

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Breastfeeding Lactation 

breastfeeding

More often than not, lactation is associated with pregnancy, breastfeeding, and the mother’s body preparing to care for the newborn baby. Though many times the mother’s body will produce milk on its own, sometimes the mother needs to receive additional help to produce enough milk for breastfeeding. Additionally, it is also possible to receive extended hormonal treatment for induced lactation. A small percentage of women can also begin lactating without any association to pregnancy—a condition known as galactorrhea where excessive milk is produced.

Natural Lactation

The mother’s body prepares to lactate in the final months of pregnancy, and it does so through three main hormones: estrogen, progesterone and placental lactogen. Especially at the time of delivery, the hormone prolactin levels increase to such an extent so as to initiate milk production, while at the same time the levels of estrogen and progesterone decrease. According to the CDC, the American Association of Pediatrics suggests that infants should be continuously breastfed during the first six months of their lives, while other foods are gradually introduced. It is also recommended that breastfeeding continues at intervals until about two years of age, but most infants are neither exclusively breastfed nor do they continue to breastfeed for as long as recommended.

Induced Lactation

Many mothers need to replicate the body’s process of milk production to either enhance the lactation process, or to recreate it because they are coming into motherhood without pregnancy. This is most common with mothers who wish to breastfeed their adopted baby. To achieve induced lactation hormone therapy is the first required step: supplemental estrogen or progesterone may be prescribed to mimic pregnancy, and it can last for months. A few months before the expected breastfeeding date, hormone therapy will cease and you will begin the process of pumping your breasts to encourage the release of prolactin. This is a lengthy process, and the pumping gradually increases in time and intensity. It is likely that in the case of induced lactation time may not be on your side, in which case other medications may be prescribed. However, what remains integral for the milk supply necessary for breastfeeding is the process of pumping.

Galactorrhea

A number of women begin lactating without any association to pregnancy, a condition known as galactorrhea. The most common symptom is one or both breasts producing excessive milk, while other symptoms may include random leaking from the nipples, enlargement of breast tissue, irregular periods, low sex drive, acne and headaches. In some cases the cause of this may be hard to find, but the general rule is that it happens due to hormone imbalances, or as a side effect of medications. Since the most common reason for milk production is increased levels of the hormone prolactin, galactorrhea may happen due to medications, underlying medical conditions, a tumor, or overstimulation of the nipples. As with any condition with various causes, how it can be treated depends on what is causing it and it is up to your healthcare provider to conduct the appropriate tests to pinpoint the cause.

 

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Breast Milk Antibodies

Breast milk antibodies

Most people will tell you that breastfeeding does not only provide the newborn baby with necessary nutrients, but that it is also a great way for a mother to bond with her newborn—as well as an important way for the whole family to come together. What is not common knowledge, however, is that breast milk contains antibodies that can also be used to improve your overall health—and you don’t need to be a baby for that to happen! In fact, in many places around the world such as the Guangdong Province in China, breast milk is considered a hot commodity. The main reason for this is that it contains antibodies that combat diseases without causing inflammation.

Ear Infections

One of the ways in which breast milk can help treat ear infections is through the baby’s constant motion of sucking, as this relieves the pressure in the ear cavity. Additionally, many mothers report that a few drops of it in the baby’s ear help ease ear infections. This is due to the antibodies that can be found in breast milk. Ergo, it can also be used as a natural remedy for adult ear infections. Three or four drops at the entrance of the ear canal should be enough for this remedy to work.

Eye Infections

The most common eye infection, pinkeye, is treated with probiotic-laden, non-acidic liquids. Breast milk has been proven to be the most effective of those, tested scientifically and not only because mothers have been using it for a long time as a treatment. A couple of drops should be used in addition to the clear eye drops to treat infectious conjunctivitis. Be sure to consult with your doctor before using breast milk as a treatment of any sort.

Breast Milk as Ointment

The antibodies breast milk contains, more specifically IgA, can help prevent germs from growing on skin injuries. Some drops of breast milk can be used to disinfect an area that has a burning or itching cut. Similarly, it can be used as ointment for baby eczema; baby skin can dry easily and cause eczema which can be soothed when applying breast milk on the suffering area.

Breast Milk as Facial Cleanser

Controversial as it may sound, breast milk is a cost-effective solution to treat acne or skin disorders because of the lauric acid it contains. To use it as an acne solution, make sure to dilute it by first applying cold water on your face or acne-infected area; proceed to apply a few drops of breast milk and allow it to air dry. Wipe clean with a wet towel.

As you would do with any suggested home remedies, make sure that you consult your doctor and that you exercise your best judgement according to what your body needs best.

 

 

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