By Iris Farrou
17 Oct, 2023
Childhood Health, Fatherhood, New Moms, Prevention, Procedures, Toddler Health, Your baby's health
allergic to, Allergy to medicine, antihistamines safe for babies, asthma, Baby Allergies, Blood test for babies, cats, dogs, dust, dust allergy, exzema, food sensitivity, How do I know if my baby has allergies, how to diagnose, Infant, is allergic, mold, Pediatric Allergist, Pediatrician, pets, toddlers, What age is safe for allergen exposure, what are the symptoms of anaphylactic shock
We all know babies are fragile, and none other than parents of a newborn are more aware of this–and worried! Newborn babies can’t tell you what’s wrong with them, so the guessing game is nonstop, and the more you see your baby in distress, the more your worry skyrockets. Although parental anxiety may suspect the worst case scenario, sneezing and a runny nose, red eyes and itchiness could also just be signs of your baby experiencing allergies.
Environmental and Seasonal Allergies
In fact, even very young kids can be allergic to pollen, dust, pet dander, and mold. Babies are more likely to experience allergies to foods and eczema–especially if you have a family history of those, as well as asthma. No region is safe from allergy triggers, but if you live in nature, are in close proximity to more allergens, have indoor pets, and generally enjoy the outdoors your baby may be exposed to more allergens. If they do have seasonal allergies, then the symptoms will begin.
- Itchiness and tendency to rub the eyes, ears and nose, as well as puffy or watery eyes
- Sneezing, wheezing, and frequent mouth breathing
- Dry cough with clear mucus, and possible shortness of breath
- Irritability or excessive fatigue
Food and Medicine Allergies
Food and medicine allergies have different symptoms, which are usually seen immediately after consumption of the offensive food or medication, within a few minutes or an hour or two later at most. If your baby is allergic to medication and their reaction is hives or a rash, that may take a few days to develop. However, immediate reactions may include hives, itching, shortness of breath, vomiting, nausea, or abdominal pain. Good news is that even if other symptoms are present, anaphylaxis is rare in babies.
Treating Allergies in Babies
Even though as adults we’d rush to take an antihistamine for our allergies, this is not recommended for babies under the age of 2. The safest treatment is to reduce your baby’s exposure to the allergen: if it’s pet dander you may want to limit the time spent with pets and close off certain areas in the house; for environmental allergies you may have to keep your windows closed and invest in an air purifier; food allergies will mean eliminating the foods with allergens and possibly consider w hether allergens may transfer to your baby through breastfeeding. You should consult with your pediatrician before administering any medication, even topical skin medications such as hydrocortisone cream.
Diagnosis
The good news is that even though your baby may not be able to articulate what’s going on, your pediatrician can perform a skin test to determine possible allergies– a test usually safe on anyone over 6 months of age. A blood test could also be done for younger babies, though it is not as sensitive as a skin test. Food allergens are usually determined by process of elimination, which can be a long process as you take out the allergens from your baby’s diet one by one every week. However, at the very least when you see a difference you will know what not to feed your baby!
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By Iris Farrou
14 Sep, 2023
Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, New Moms, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health
After Giving Birth, Decreased Sex Drive after Pregnancy, hormone changes, Intimacy, Libido, los sex drive, no interest in sex, post pregnancy, postpartum, Postpartum depression, Sex after giving birth, Why is my sex drive gone, will my libido ever return
When we become pregnant, we anticipate changes in our bodies. We may also have worries about how we will look and feel different after giving birth. Many women are concerned about the changes delivery and a newborn baby creates in their intimate relationships– and who wouldn’t worry about such a profound issue? A baby changes everything, bedroom adventures included!
Medical professionals recommend that you allow your body approximately 4-6 weeks to heal after giving birth: if you have had a C-section, the area will need extra care, so sex may prove a little challenging. During delivery, it is also possible you have had a vaginal tear that needs to heal, or have received an incision to enlarge the vaginal opening. Give your body the time it needs to heal; there is no need to rush.
New mothers experience their body differently after giving birth. Some women feel like their libido may never come back, while others find themselves aroused– a lot of hormones and the release of oxytocin make for a variety of responses to sexual desire; any way you feel is completely normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel or not feel sexual desire and no right or wrong way to listen to your body. To ensure your safety, note that the risk for postpartum complications is highest two weeks after giving birth, regardless of the delivery method. You may also have vaginal discharge during this time, vaginal dryness, general discomfort, or even pain. Fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep are also very common and it is understandable that you may have zero interest in sex while trying to recover and care for your newborn baby.
If and when you and your partner decide to have sex make sure you are completely comfortable and not just trying to get things “back to normal.” Couples go through several changes when their baby is born, and nobody is under any obligation to put their health on the line—especially not a new mother. So, when the time is right for you, keep in mind you may experience some pain during vaginal sex.
Since sex after delivery is guaranteed to be different, consider the following as ways to rebuild your intimacy with your partner and be safe:
- Sex is the end point, not the start. Start small, like hand holding or cuddling.
- Be comfortable: you may want to take a painkiller to help your body relax and ease some of the discomfort. You can ask your partner to give you a massage, or take a hot bath together.
- Set time aside to be intimate. You will need time to relax, get in the moment, pay attention to your body, and to reconnect with your partner.
- Discuss alternatives to vaginal intercourse and use this opportunity to experiment with your partner.
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By Iris Farrou
22 Aug, 2023
Childhood Health, Early Childhood Education, Fatherhood, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Prevention, School, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens
abandonment, adjusting to change, Childhood Trauma, elementary school, faking sick, help my child adjust to school, high school, homesickness, how to help my child feel comfortable at school, issues, middle school, morning anxiety, morning routine, Preparing for school, preschool anxiety, school safety, separation anxiety, stomach aches before school, teachers
With Fall just around the corner, you know that back-to-school– or first-grade–season is upon us! Getting ready for the school year is always an adjustment for families, even more so if your first-born is about to join the first grade. There may be a lot of excitement, as well as nervousness, around the situation. How can you help your child, or children, and the whole family be better prepared for the school year?
Stress and Anxiety
It’s not unusual for first-graders to experience anxiety that takes the form of tummy aches or headaches, especially on Monday mornings or Sunday nights. Sometimes, you may even get a call from the school that your child is feeling unwell. These are not lies, nor are children faking discomfort in order to stay home. They are experiencing discomfort due to the anxiety of being away from home.
- Establish a morning routine that makes your family feel more connected; you can spend some extra snuggle time with your child, especially on Monday mornings, and allow enough time to have a good breakfast as a family.
- Especially in the first few weeks of school, you may want to get there early to cement the goodbye-routine: reassure your child that you are always available during the day if they need you, and remind them that they are safe. Remember that this can feel very daunting for a child, as they are spending a lot of time away from home–which they know as a safe place–and they are surrounded by new people in a new environment.
- Share your own stories from school, and bond over those memories with your child. It will make them feel much more comfortable to hear that their role model was also nervous going to school, or had the same issues as them. Sharing stories and experiences openly will not only enhance your child’s trust towards you, but it will reassure them that what they are feeling is normal.
- Be early for pickup time; your child’s separation anxiety is volatile until they fully adjust to school, and they are really looking forward to seeing you and feeling safe that they are going home. As the school day reaches its end, their expectation and nervousness heighterns: it is of immense importance that they see you waiting for them during pick up time, and are not left wondering or feeling abandoned.
Familiarity and Safe Spaces
Even if your child has attended pre-school, going to grade school is another can of worms… in addition, it is a new school and they don’t know what it looks like or what to expect. How can you help them feel secure about this change?
- Visit the school with them, walk through the campus and be present in this new space where they will be spending a lot of time without you. Trivial as it may sound, it will help your child tremendously to know what their future classroom will be like, where they will be sitting, where the restrooms are, the cafeteria, exit and pickup point, main office, etc.
- Meet the teachers if you can, as essentially they will be the “replacement” caretakers and safe people for your child while they are at school. If you can facilitate building trust and rapport with your child’s teachers before the school year begins, then your child will feel more comfortable in their expectations.
- Talk through the curriculum with your child, and explain what expectations come with grade school. It’s a new structure, so the more you can explain to them what their day will look like, what they will be doing at this new school, and what they will be doing at home as a learner, the better prepared they will be when they hear “homework” is expected to be completed.
As much as we would like to keep our children in a bubble, we all know that this is not possible. However, there is nothing more important than preparing for the school year as a family and validating your child’s anxiety–both before the school year starts and during the school year. Fingers crossed, this new school year will be filled with excitement and happiness! Remember that you and your child are a team in this, and you should always be able to reach out to the school for support if need be.
https://www.wikihow.com/Adjust-to-a-New-School
https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/back-to-school-tips-to-help-students-adjust
https://www.ahaparenting.com/read/Help-kids-adjust-school
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By Iris Farrou
18 Aug, 2023
Childhood Health, Early Childhood Education, Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens
Abuse, Accident, ACE, Childhood Illness, Childhood Trauma, Children, Community, Divorce, Family Dynamic, Financial Stress, Grieving, Kids, Mental Health, Neglect, Nightmares, Pediatric, Pediatric Mental Health Care, PTSD, Teenager, Toddler Trauma, Trauma, Traumatic Childhood Experiences, Violence, Witness, Witnessing
When we’re getting ready to start a new family, we may find ourselves reflecting on our own childhood experiences, and comparing with our partner how each person grew up– perhaps the goal of this introspection is to create a new family that is healthy, happy, and flourishes with good communication. If you are in the process of family planning, you may want to take into account ACEs: Adverse Childhood Experiences.
What are they?
Adverse Childhood Experiences are traumatic events children experience between the ages of 0-17. These have long lasting effects, may lead to chronic health conditions, and people address them well into adulthood. It is important to remember that ACEs affect a child’s brain, and how they experience the world.
ACEs are quite common, with 60-80% of US adults reporting they have had at least one adverse childhood experience up until age 17, and 1 in 6 US adults saying they’ve had four or more. The most potentially traumatic ACEs can include experiencing violence, abuse, or neglect in the home, neighborhood, or school, witnessing violence in the community or otherwise living in a dangerous environment (war zone, poverty stricken areas, etc.), going through a natural disaster, witnessing serious injuries or the death of another person, losing a loved one or experiencing parental loss due to separation. However, this is by no means an exhaustive list of possible ACEs: any event that may cause trauma and long-term stress can be classified as an adverse childhood experience that adversely affects a person as an adult.
How do I know if my child has had an ACE?
The effects of a traumatic or stressful event may not be immediately visible, or take place soon after the traumatic event has occurred. If your child confides something in you that would be traumatic, then that is a clear indication of an event that would warrant immediate support–with the assistance of a mental health professional who specializes in children or teenagers.
Additionally, if you are going through something as a family, such as a divorce, death, fatal accident or illness, natural disaster, poverty, community violence, unemployment, housing and/or financial insecurity, you may want to address those events as potentially traumatic for your child. We cannot always correct or control life’s adversities, but we can recognize them for what they are and present this as a starting point to healing. If you recognize, as a family, that an event has been traumatic then this shows to your child that it’s ok for things to not be “normal”–that it’s part of life, and that our reactions or daily life will change when something happens.
If there is an event or experience that you do not know about, once your child has had time to process the experience you may start noticing signs of trauma that could include, but are not limited to: difficulty sleeping or having nightmares, wetting the bed, changes to their mood, fear of other people, difficulties in school, avoiding situations, events, or people (these may be directly associated with the traumatic event), as well as difficulty showing affection towards family and friends–especially if this is a change from their usual behavior.
How can we avoid ACEs?
The unfortunate truth is that we cannot completely eliminate ACEs, as much as we may want to. What we can do, however, is raise awareness about them so that we can all start thinking differently about childhood trauma. Historically disadvantaged populations are more susceptible to trauma, but that does not mean that everyone else is excluded. The causes may be societal, historical, natural forces, or people, but each one of us can help lessen the blow of an ACE: whether you are a parent, friend, caregiver, teacher, or neighbor. Raising awareness of ACEs means switching the focus from individual responsibility to community solutions: we can all help prevent ACEs, and help children develop strong coping mechanisms. It is important to reduce the stigma associated with parents who struggle to provide a safe environment for their children, and seek community and/or government support to do so. It is also important to remember that any one of us can promote safe, stable, and nurturing environments where children are present.
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/fastfact.html
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/24875-adverse-childhood-experiences-ace
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By Iris Farrou
27 Jul, 2023
Childhood Health, Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, New Moms, Parenting, Postpartum, Toddler Health, Your baby's health
are strollers too hot in the summer, Baby, Baby Safety in Summer, how do I keep my newborn safe in the sun, How to keep my baby from overheating, is central AC safe for my baby, keep my baby cool, keep my infant cool, new dads, new mom advice, new moms, newborn body temperature regulation, Toddler, toddler overheating, what clothing is best for baby in hot weather, what time of day is best to go outside during summer with newborn
If you’re spending your first summer with your baby, there are a few things to keep in mind about newborn babies and the summer heat so everyone can remain safe and have an enjoyable summer. Depending on which part of the US you live in or are visiting this summer, keep in mind that the heat may continue into the fall months–or it may be humid heat rather than scorching sun. Either way, the key information to remember is that babies cannot regulate their own body temperatures– older children and adults are able to do so, but babies need extra assistance and protection.
- Overheating is very risky for newborn babies: if you are hot, then your baby is definitely hot as well. It is not unusual or “wrong” to keep babies in either a light onesie or only a diaper.
- Keep the temperature cool: if you have a central AC or a window AC unit and can afford to keep it running to keep the temperature lower than 77F degrees, that is ideal for a baby. Utilizing box fans on your windows for air circulation, as well as ceiling fans, is another method to ensure your baby stays cool.
- Help them sleep comfortably: especially when sleeping, your baby can be only in a diaper or swaddled using very thin, lightweight and breathable material. If you are not using central AC, make sure there is a fan in the room where your baby is sleeping–preferably not pointed directly at them, though.
- Proper hydration: you know that’s true for people of all ages, and the same goes for babies. If you notice infrequent urination or crying without tears, these are signs that dehydration has already occurred. Your instinct may be to give your newborn baby water, but that is a big NO in this case; their bodies cannot process water. Breastfeeding or milk formula in smaller and more frequent doses are a better solution. If your baby is already eating other foods, try to use more hydrating foods in their diet and provide more frequent–but still smaller–meals.
If the outside temperature is above 90 degrees, or 84ish with humidity, this is when your newborn, toddlers, or young children should NOT be outside, especially no more than 15 minutes if you absolutely have to be out. Try to not stay in the heat for too long, and seek shelter in air-conditioned spaces.
If you are using a stroller, keep in mind that it may not be the best idea to go for a walk in the heat—however, you should choose a stroller with a large canopy for extra protection for the warmer months. Avoid going outside in peak heat times of 10am-2pm, and dress your baby in breathable cotton clothing, preferably loose, that covers their skin as much as possible. Wide hats and sunglasses do look adorable on babies, and are also very much necessary.
https://www.michiganmedicine.org/health-lab/how-protect-your-baby-dangers-hot-weather
https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/health-and-safety/how-to-protect-children-from-extreme-heat/
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By Iris Farrou
14 Jul, 2023
Fatherhood, New Moms, Parenting, Pregnancy, Queer Health
Accommodations, After Giving Birth, Corporate Policies, Coworkers, Do new fathers have time off work, Extra Bathroom Breaks, Fair Labor Standards Act, Family and Medical Leave Act, FMLA, HR, Maternity Leave, Office Job, Parental Leave, Paternity Leave, Policies, Pregnant and Working, Time Off after Birth, Will I lose my job after having a baby, Workplace
Having a baby is a source of great joy for many families, single parents not excluded; it is also a big change, especially if you are an employed parent who will need accommodations to prepare for the arrival of their child. Talking to your boss or coworkers about it can be a sensitive topic, and many people may feel awkward having this conversation. First things first, it is important to know your federal rights:
- The Family and Medical Leave Act was established in 1993 to provide family and temporary medical leave under circumstances that include the birth and care of a newborn child and the placement of a child for foster care or adoption with an employee.
- Though you will need to check with your employer and meet certain provisions, the FMLA in general provides employees up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave per year. During this time, your job is protected and your health benefits should remain active.
- Upon returning to work, you also have the right to request reasonable accommodations for nursing, and other needs you may have as a new mother; the Fair Labor Standards Act protects employees from discrimination or retaliation when they assert their rights in the workspace.
With that in mind, you know you have specific laws on your side! What happens when it comes to private businesses or a work environment you’re not quite sure about? Here are some tips on how to approach your supervisors in a comfortable manner:
- Research your company’s policies on parental leave and rights; if you know you want to start a family before you start working at a specific place, that’s something you can look into early on. Knowledge is power, so you should be informed about HR processes at your workplace.
- Choose who to talk to first; if there is a chain of command, but you don’t feel comfortable approaching a certain person on it, that’s an issue HR can help you with. If you can choose who to talk to and you feel comfortable with that person, set up a meeting with them first.
- It never hurts to follow the buddy system, so consider asking a coworker you trust to be present with you in any conversations regarding parental leave and rights. Two sets of eyes and ears are better than one!
It is undeniable that you will need accommodations in the workplace during your pregnancy, before the parental leave kicks in, and that you will continue to need accommodations after you welcome your new family member.
Accommodations change throughout the duration of your pregnancy, and they differ from person to person. It is very likely that you will need different accommodations throughout your pregnancy, and of course depending on the nature of your job. Some common pregnancy accommodations may include:
- Extra breaks for restroom use, snacks, water, and rest
- Changes to job duties or location to avoid physical harm and/or fatigue
- Schedule changes and excusal from tardiness policies, as well as time for prenatal appointments
No matter the regulations or laws, it is important to remember that your health and the health of your baby and family come first; though you should feel supported by your workplace, it never hurts to know your rights and advocate for what you need.
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By Iris Farrou
22 Jun, 2023
Childhood Health, Diet & Exercise, Fatherhood, New Moms, Parenting, Prevention, Toddler Health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens, Your baby's health
Anxiety, Baby, Boost Immunity, Child, food, Good Health, Immune System, Immunizations, Importance of, Pre-Teen, Probiotics, Sleep, Strengthen, Stress, Toddler, Vaccine, Vaccines, Vitamins, Wellbeing
The first concern every parent has when it comes to their child’s health is to keep them safe as much as possible. With extracurricular activities, summer camps, and attending school being a normal part of any child’s life, and going hand in hand with exposure to germs, it is often a challenge to help your children’s immune system stay strong. There are two routes that can assist you in this struggle: diet and lifestyle.
Before we talk about details on either path, there is one undeniable basis: make sure your children are up to date on important vaccines. For all people 6 months and older, the flu shot is recommended. COVID vaccines are now safe for younger ages as well–make sure all eligible family members are immunized, and keep checking with your pediatrician about being up to date on other necessary immunizations.
Diet and Supplements
In an ideal world, you have the time to prepare the best and healthiest meals for your family, and your children are never picky eaters. That would be a wonderful movie, but it is not the truth. Though pediatricians advise against using supplements and multivitamins to enrich your child’s diet–particularly because those are not well regulated in the US and their ingredients are not guaranteed–there are certain cases when supplements are needed.
Vitamin D is the first vitamin that helps children build a strong immune system; they usually would absorb it from the sun. However, if you do not live in a sunny area, there are certain kid-friendly foods that can help with that: fortified Vitamin D milk and yogurt, and orange juice. If you are lucky enough to be able to serve your child salmon, trout, tuna, and sardines then you are raising their chances of absorbing the necessary amount of Vitamin D. To use supplements, it is suggested that you first consult with your doctor and do a blood panel to see where your child’s Vitamin D levels are at, and what supplement is most appropriate for them.
Zinc is an important mineral that assists kids’ immune system. Oysters, red meat, and poultry are the best sources of zinc, followed by beans and nuts. If your child does not accept any of these foods, consult your pediatrician on how to proceed with a zinc supplement.
Probiotics and prebiotics play an important role in our immune system, specifically because they ensure good gut health. Probiotics ensure a good balance of helpful bacteria in our bodies, and in addition to yogurts you can try giving your child fermented foods–like pickles or miso–to help with that. Prebiotics also stimulate the growth of good bacteria, and they are mostly plant fibers: green bananas or plantains, yams, asparagus.
Lifestyle
Keep in mind that a healthy lifestyle is additional to a balanced diet when it comes to fortifying your child’s immune system. If you don’t have fruits and vegetables, as well as nuts and seeds in their diet, lifestyle changes can only do so much.
However, keep in mind that children need lots of sleep for their system to function properly and recharge. 12-16 hours for infants and around 10 hours for kids is what’s necessary to assist your kids in being healthy and help keep them on a regular schedule. Additionally, exercise and keeping active can do wonders for our immune system: encourage your child to be physically active at least one hour a day in some form of activity that they like; if they appreciate sports, so much the better! Physical activity doesn’t only contribute to overall good health, but it also helps manage stress. When we are stressed, especially in cases of heightened or chronic stress, our immune system is volatile and makes us more prone to infections. Be mindful of the stress levels your child may be facing, and encourage activities that make them happy and fulfilled.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/boosting-your-childs-immune-system-202110122614
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/how-to-boost-your-kids-immunity/
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By Iris Farrou
19 Jun, 2023
Fatherhood, Mental Health, Parenting, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens
Adolescents, Ally, Bisexual, Gay, Gay-Straight Alliance, Gender Identity, Gender Terminology, Gynecologist, Gynecology, health, Helping my LGBTQ child, Inclusive Sexual Health Education, Intersex, Lesbian, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Youth Support, LGBTQIA+, Neurodivergent, Non-Binary, OBGYN, Pre-Teen, Pride Month, Pronouns, Queer, Sexual Behavior, Teen, Teenagers, Transgender, Youth
Most parents nowadays try to ensure their kids have a well rounded education when it comes to sexual health and safety, and “the talk” has been appropriately modified–in most households–to expand beyond the heteronormative model of sexual intimacy. Teenagers are exposed to diverse models of relationships, and abundant resources are available for those who explore their sexual and gender identity.
Despite the positive rise, the statistics on LGBTQ-focused sex ed in schools remain low. In a 2015 survey only 12% of the Millennial participants reported that their school’s sex ed curriculum covered same-sex relationships–and that’s not even discussing sexual or gender identity. It becomes clear, then, that it is up to parents and medical professionals to be more educated, to be better allies to LGBTQ kids and youth, and to be a safe space for them. According to the National Center on the Sexual Behavior of Youth “children’s sexual awareness starts in infancy and continues to strengthen throughout preschool and school-age years,” so no matter how young your child is, they know what’s going on with their body and it is your job as a parent to support them.
How can I be an Ally?
Just as it is with any support system, the best way to be an ally is to educate yourself; on LGBTQ history, sex and gender terminology, legal issues, local issues in your city, school issues that may have come up in your child’s school. LGBTQ youth are more likely to be bullied in school, and to search for information on the internet– which often leads them to not credible sources.
- Be a Visible Safe Person: it is important to show your kids you are supportive of the LGBTQ community, and that you are open to conversations about sex and gender. This can be as simple as bringing home a book about queer issues, or a pamphlet from your local Pride Center; you can also initiate conversations about the history, rights, and health of the LGBTQ community. Even a film night is a great way in!
- Support Local Queer Organizations: if there is a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) at your child’s school, be an active participant in their efforts for inclusivity, policy, and curriculum changes. If there is a Pride Center where you live, take your kids to family-friendly events. Should a Pride Parade happen in your town or nearby, go the extra mile, or walk the rainbow mile with your kids.
- Provide Reading Materials: just like with any topic, there are age-appropriate books for your child to help them learn more about the LGBTQ community. Visit your local bookstore and ask for the latest publications, and take a look at The Rainbow Collection of the American Psychological Association: https://go.maginationpress.org/rainbow-collection/
- Be a Source of Knowledge: it is impossible to be an encyclopedia for everything your child asks you. But for topics on which misinformation is rampant, is it not important to be a trustworthy source of knowledge? The CDC has an excellent LGBT Health page you can consult as a “crash course,” and they also have a list of regional LGBT Health Services.
Use the Right Words: when your child first becomes interested in their body, or if your toddler or pre-teen asks questions, you can expand the discussion and include appropriate terminology to talk about gender, and talk with them about how pronouns are important outside of their grammar exercises. If your teen is being more direct with their questions, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN) can help you and them on Inclusive Sexual Health Education, and they can also visit a well-researched and peer-edited page written for teens by teens: https://sexetc.org/
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By Iris Farrou
21 May, 2023
Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Toddler Health, Young adults & teens, Your baby's health
Bedtime Routine, Bonding, Children's Bedtime, Emotional Regulation, Healthy Amount of Sleep, Healthy Family Dynamic, Healthy Sleep Habits, How to Create Bedtime Routine, Kid Bedtime, Nap, Regulation, Routine, Sleep, Sleep Schedules, Teenager, Teens, Toddler, Toddler Mental Health, Well-being
Whether it comes to you as an adult, or to you as a parent, or even to your family as a whole–regardless of your kids’ ages–sleep is a topic of discussion in all households. When you are a new parent, it’s almost certain that you will not sleep through the night unless your baby does; when you are parenting a toddler, you may find that bedtime is a point of contention. Like most things when it comes to parenting, the caregivers are role models: if we don’t have good sleep habits, and are not properly informed, how can we teach our children to follow a bedtime routine?
Importance of Healthy Sleep
Establishing a bedtime routine is helpful for not only our physical health, but also for our mental health, energy levels and ability to focus. When it comes to school-age children, receiving a good night’s sleep consistently improves their working memory, concentration and other cognitive skills, as well as attention. In the long run, this translates to better academic performance, readiness for school and other activities that require focus throughout the day, as well as sharp social skills.
Of course, this applies to teenagers and adults as well: the better your sleep routine is, the better equipped you are to face each day and/or help your body regulate your nervous system. Sleep habits are also an element of self-care that is often overlooked, and when implemented into a family routine can have a lot of positive effects on the family dynamic.
Bedtime Routine
To start building a healthy bedtime routine for your children, the first thing you should remember is that you are an active participant in it–it is a family activity. The second piece of advice is to keep the routine simple and repeat it at the same time every evening, with the same order. For example, when it’s close to bedtime you can start dimming the lights down and turning off screens. Then, you can start a 4-step bedtime routine of having a snack, brushing your teeth, putting on pajamas, and reading a book.
Some other activities that have shown positive effects when it comes to bedtime include a bath or diaper change, going to the bathroom, singing a song together or a lullaby, talking with your kid about their day, and of course cuddling/rocking. For both children and adults, the bedtime routine should consist of stress-free, non-stimulating, and soothing activities. Remember that physically and psychologically stressful activities can increase alertness, thus damaging the body’s ability to wind down.
Like most parenting activities, even a bedtime routine is an opportunity to not only bond with your child and create memories, but also help them grow into independent adults. A simple act such as leaving the room when your child is sleepy but not fully sleeping can teach them how to fall asleep on their own.
https://www.sleepfoundation.org/children-and-sleep/bedtime-routine
https://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
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By Iris Farrou
09 May, 2023
Early Childhood Education, Fatherhood, Parenting, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Toddler Health, Women's Health, Young adults & teens
Adolescents, body positivity, Hormone Changes in Children, How to explain sex, How to teach children about sex, Parenting Preteens, Preteen, Safe Sex for Teens, Self-Stimulation, Sex Ed, Sexual Education for Toddlers, Teaching Boundaries, Tween, When should I explain sex, Where do babies come from
If you are parenting a teenager, you are probably thinking of when would be the right time to have “the talk.” Well, the time starts when curiosity strikes in their toddler years! You don’t have to turn back time, but if you are a new parent you may want to start taking notes: it is never too early to start talking to your children about sex education, their bodies, and relationships. Consider sex education a broad subject, and not just an awkward talk about hormone-driven intimate moments.
Sex education includes talking with your children about anatomy, teaching them the proper names for their body parts as soon as they start making associations between items and words, educating them on how to take care of themselves and their bodily functions, and being by their side when they start being able to express their feelings and/or they start to understand themselves in relation to others; relationships and boundaries are also part of sex education.
Early Exploration
It is best to let your toddler set the time for questions regarding anatomy and sex, but you should also be aware of what questions may be opportunities for further discussions. For example, during bath time you can take the opportunity to talk with your child about their anatomy, and which parts of the body are private. Keep your answers short and simple, and age appropriate– if your child seems confused about something, don’t be embarrassed to explain further. You are, after all, the role model: the more maturely you approach the conversation, the more secure your child will feel about your knowledge.
Curiosity
It is not uncommon for toddlers to express their natural curiosity through self-stimulation. If you notice your child engaging with their genitals, it is advised to encourage their curiosity while also reminding them that some acts and areas of the body are private. This self exploration may coincide with curiosity about others, which can lead to uncomfortable social interactions. If your child asks about pregnancy or “where do babies come from” in front of others, it’s ok to take a moment in a social setting to explain some things to them. Should the question have made someone else uncomfortable, take the opportunity to apologize on behalf of your child, and model boundary-respectful behavior for them. It is also normal during this time for children to want to play doctor with their friends, and many families choose to monitor their children’s play time at this stage of their development, or set limits.
New Knowledge
As much as you may try to be open with your child and monitor their knowledge of sex education matters, you should be aware that new knowledge always finds its way to young children. Unfortunately, new knowledge may not always come from reputable sources or be truthful and accurate. If your child asks you a question that seems off, or hasn’t been discussed in your household, the best course of action would be to ask them where they heard that, or try to locate the source of the information. Then, you could ask them to share what they already know about the topic and begin a conversation with them. It is important to let your child know you are comfortable with those questions, knowledgeable on the topics, and that they can trust you with their curiosity.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/sexual-health/in-depth/sex-education/art-20044104
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/tips-talking
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