By Iris Farrou
14 Sep, 2023
Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, New Moms, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health
After Giving Birth, Decreased Sex Drive after Pregnancy, hormone changes, Intimacy, Libido, los sex drive, no interest in sex, post pregnancy, postpartum, Postpartum depression, Sex after giving birth, Why is my sex drive gone, will my libido ever return
When we become pregnant, we anticipate changes in our bodies. We may also have worries about how we will look and feel different after giving birth. Many women are concerned about the changes delivery and a newborn baby creates in their intimate relationships– and who wouldn’t worry about such a profound issue? A baby changes everything, bedroom adventures included!
Medical professionals recommend that you allow your body approximately 4-6 weeks to heal after giving birth: if you have had a C-section, the area will need extra care, so sex may prove a little challenging. During delivery, it is also possible you have had a vaginal tear that needs to heal, or have received an incision to enlarge the vaginal opening. Give your body the time it needs to heal; there is no need to rush.
New mothers experience their body differently after giving birth. Some women feel like their libido may never come back, while others find themselves aroused– a lot of hormones and the release of oxytocin make for a variety of responses to sexual desire; any way you feel is completely normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel or not feel sexual desire and no right or wrong way to listen to your body. To ensure your safety, note that the risk for postpartum complications is highest two weeks after giving birth, regardless of the delivery method. You may also have vaginal discharge during this time, vaginal dryness, general discomfort, or even pain. Fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep are also very common and it is understandable that you may have zero interest in sex while trying to recover and care for your newborn baby.
If and when you and your partner decide to have sex make sure you are completely comfortable and not just trying to get things “back to normal.” Couples go through several changes when their baby is born, and nobody is under any obligation to put their health on the line—especially not a new mother. So, when the time is right for you, keep in mind you may experience some pain during vaginal sex.
Since sex after delivery is guaranteed to be different, consider the following as ways to rebuild your intimacy with your partner and be safe:
- Sex is the end point, not the start. Start small, like hand holding or cuddling.
- Be comfortable: you may want to take a painkiller to help your body relax and ease some of the discomfort. You can ask your partner to give you a massage, or take a hot bath together.
- Set time aside to be intimate. You will need time to relax, get in the moment, pay attention to your body, and to reconnect with your partner.
- Discuss alternatives to vaginal intercourse and use this opportunity to experiment with your partner.
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Postpartum depression is a devastating emotional disorder that negatively impacts a significant number of mothers every year. It’s estimated that approximately 10 to 15 percent of women suffer from some form of postpartum mood disorder (PPMD), including postpartum depression (PPD), postpartum anxiety/OCD, or postpartum psychosis. If you feel that you or a loved one could be suffering from this emotionally, and physically painful disorder, know that you are not alone, and that treatment is available to help you recover and begin enjoying your time with your new baby in positive ways.
Symptoms of Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression symptoms typically develop within the first few weeks after baby is born, but could begin up to six months after birth. While every case is different, typical symptoms of postpartum depression may include:
- Feelings of anxiety or sadness that result in pulling away from family and loved ones.
- Panic attacks.
- Unexplainable sadness that leads to seemingly unprovoked, excessive crying.
- Rapid and severe mood swings.
- Unexplainable feelings of sadness or depression.
- Uncontrollable and intense irritability and/or anger.
- Overwhelming fatigue.
- Difficulty sleeping, or wanting to keep all the time.
- The feeling of being overwhelmed, and/or unable to concentrate, think clearly, or make decisions.
- Not feeling hungry as usual, or overeating.
- Reduced interest in hobbies or typically enjoyable activities.
- Having difficulties bonding with your baby, and/or a strong fear that you are not a good mother.
- Irrational thoughts of harming yourself, or your baby.
- Thoughts of suicide or death.
Your Doctor Can Help
If left untreated, postpartum depression may last for many, painful, and sad months where you are not bonding with your baby in the ways that you’d like. In the most severe cases, postpartum depression can have devastating, deadly consequences.
If you or a loved one think you may be suffering from postpartum depression, your OGBYN can help. A variety of treatment options are available. Your doctor will customize a treatment plan that is right for you, based on your unique circumstances or symptoms. Your recovery plan may include any of the following treatments:
- Medication — Postpartum depression is caused by severe fluctuations in hormones. To treat these changes and restore balance to your system, your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant. Medication can also be helpful in improving your sleep- and appetite-related symptoms.
- Psychotherapy (talk therapy) — For many women suffering from postpartum depression, talk therapy has proven successful either as a stand alone treatment, or when used in conjunction with antidepressant medication. Psychotherapy helps women suffering from postpartum depression to work through their feelings and resolve internal emotional conflicts with the support of a trained professional.
- Support groups — Similar to individualized psychotherapy, support groups can be an effective way for women to feel the support of others with whom they share similar feelings and experiences. Support groups may be recommended in conjunction with medication.
- Inpatient treatment — In the most severe cases, such as when a woman’s postpartum depression is presenting as suicidal ideation, your doctor may recommend a more intense treatment program provided in a focused, inpatient setting. When your doctor is confident that you are not a danger to yourself, or your baby, you will be discharged for continued outpatient treatment.
The initial months after your baby is born are essential for proper emotional bonding, and developing the skills you will need to care for your baby long term. Don’t let postpartum depression interfere with those precious months. Talk to your OBGYN today and learn what your options are, not just for managing symptoms, but for treating the underlying condition that is impacting your emotional and physical well-being.
The doctors at Chouchani, Sayegh and Bagnarello take your physical and mental health very seriously. If you have been experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned above post pregnancy, please schedule an appointment to talk with us.
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