Sexual Intimacy after Pregnancy
When we become pregnant, we anticipate changes in our bodies. We may also have worries about how we will look and feel different after giving birth. Many women are concerned about the changes delivery and a newborn baby creates in their intimate relationships– and who wouldn’t worry about such a profound issue? A baby changes everything, bedroom adventures included!
Medical professionals recommend that you allow your body approximately 4-6 weeks to heal after giving birth: if you have had a C-section, the area will need extra care, so sex may prove a little challenging. During delivery, it is also possible you have had a vaginal tear that needs to heal, or have received an incision to enlarge the vaginal opening. Give your body the time it needs to heal; there is no need to rush.
New mothers experience their body differently after giving birth. Some women feel like their libido may never come back, while others find themselves aroused– a lot of hormones and the release of oxytocin make for a variety of responses to sexual desire; any way you feel is completely normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel or not feel sexual desire and no right or wrong way to listen to your body. To ensure your safety, note that the risk for postpartum complications is highest two weeks after giving birth, regardless of the delivery method. You may also have vaginal discharge during this time, vaginal dryness, general discomfort, or even pain. Fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep are also very common and it is understandable that you may have zero interest in sex while trying to recover and care for your newborn baby.
If and when you and your partner decide to have sex make sure you are completely comfortable and not just trying to get things “back to normal.” Couples go through several changes when their baby is born, and nobody is under any obligation to put their health on the line—especially not a new mother. So, when the time is right for you, keep in mind you may experience some pain during vaginal sex.
Since sex after delivery is guaranteed to be different, consider the following as ways to rebuild your intimacy with your partner and be safe:
- Sex is the end point, not the start. Start small, like hand holding or cuddling.
- Be comfortable: you may want to take a painkiller to help your body relax and ease some of the discomfort. You can ask your partner to give you a massage, or take a hot bath together.
- Set time aside to be intimate. You will need time to relax, get in the moment, pay attention to your body, and to reconnect with your partner.
- Discuss alternatives to vaginal intercourse and use this opportunity to experiment with your partner.