By Iris Farrou
14 Sep, 2023
Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, New Moms, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Sexual health, Women's Health
After Giving Birth, Decreased Sex Drive after Pregnancy, hormone changes, Intimacy, Libido, los sex drive, no interest in sex, post pregnancy, postpartum, Postpartum depression, Sex after giving birth, Why is my sex drive gone, will my libido ever return
When we become pregnant, we anticipate changes in our bodies. We may also have worries about how we will look and feel different after giving birth. Many women are concerned about the changes delivery and a newborn baby creates in their intimate relationships– and who wouldn’t worry about such a profound issue? A baby changes everything, bedroom adventures included!
Medical professionals recommend that you allow your body approximately 4-6 weeks to heal after giving birth: if you have had a C-section, the area will need extra care, so sex may prove a little challenging. During delivery, it is also possible you have had a vaginal tear that needs to heal, or have received an incision to enlarge the vaginal opening. Give your body the time it needs to heal; there is no need to rush.
New mothers experience their body differently after giving birth. Some women feel like their libido may never come back, while others find themselves aroused– a lot of hormones and the release of oxytocin make for a variety of responses to sexual desire; any way you feel is completely normal. There is no right or wrong way to feel or not feel sexual desire and no right or wrong way to listen to your body. To ensure your safety, note that the risk for postpartum complications is highest two weeks after giving birth, regardless of the delivery method. You may also have vaginal discharge during this time, vaginal dryness, general discomfort, or even pain. Fatigue, exhaustion, and lack of sleep are also very common and it is understandable that you may have zero interest in sex while trying to recover and care for your newborn baby.
If and when you and your partner decide to have sex make sure you are completely comfortable and not just trying to get things “back to normal.” Couples go through several changes when their baby is born, and nobody is under any obligation to put their health on the line—especially not a new mother. So, when the time is right for you, keep in mind you may experience some pain during vaginal sex.
Since sex after delivery is guaranteed to be different, consider the following as ways to rebuild your intimacy with your partner and be safe:
- Sex is the end point, not the start. Start small, like hand holding or cuddling.
- Be comfortable: you may want to take a painkiller to help your body relax and ease some of the discomfort. You can ask your partner to give you a massage, or take a hot bath together.
- Set time aside to be intimate. You will need time to relax, get in the moment, pay attention to your body, and to reconnect with your partner.
- Discuss alternatives to vaginal intercourse and use this opportunity to experiment with your partner.
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By Iris Farrou
01 Sep, 2023
Lifestyle Tips, Menopause, New Moms, Peri-Menopause, Peri-Menopause, Postpartum, Prevention, Women's Health
abdominal, Childbirth, constipation, dysfunction, floor, obesity, Pain, painful sex, pelvic, Physical Therapy, pilates, Pregnancy, pregnant, PT, tailbone, weakened pelvic floor, Why is sex painful
When we hear about pelvic floor exercises, we often associate them with either older women, or pregnant women/women who have just given birth. This is a common misconception–older women and new mothers may see immediate benefits when engaging in pelvic floor PT, but everyone can benefit from it.
No matter your age or overall physical health, if you were assigned female at birth, knowledge is power when it comes to knowing what your pelvic floor looks like, and what it does:
- Imagine your pelvic floor as a hammock of support consisting of muscles, tendons, ligaments, nerves, and connective tissue. This hammock is between the tailbone and the pubic bone.
- First and foremost, your pelvic floor supports the bowels, bladder, uterus, and vagina; there are also muscular bands that pass through the pelvic floor that encircle the urethra, vagina and anus.
- All this, when it functions properly, plays a key role in bowel and bladder control. Your pelvic floor also helps you stabilize your pelvis and your spine, and assists with sexual function.
Who is at risk of Pelvic Floor Dysfunction?
Remember that the pelvic floor is mostly made up of muscles, and like any muscles in our body those–too–can weaken or suffer damage and lead to pelvic floor dysfunction. People who have experienced pregnancy, childbirth, chronic constipation, or obesity may be at higher risk as their pelvic floor has, and does, work harder to support their normal bodily functions and the bowels/bladder.
Some of the symptoms of pelvic floor dysfunction may include pain during intercourse, bladder pain, bowel or urinary incontinence, frequent urination, persisting pubic, tailbone, or lower abdominal pain, and constipation–to name a few. More serious issues may include pelvic organ prolapse: bowel prolapse, prolapsed uterus, and even endometriosis.
How can Physical Therapy Help?
Physical therapists are not just experts who help you walk better after an injury, they are medical experts in the functions of muscles, joints, and nerves, and have an in-depth and holistic understanding of human health. Just like any medical field, PTs have areas of expertise and you may want to work with someone who is trained on pelvic floor functions.
A PT will assess your whole body after consulting with you, not just the problem or painful areas. Your medical history, symptoms, and needs will of course be taken into account to create an individualized plan for your pelvic floor health. The exercises will, and should, be done with the physical therapist–unless they assign you specific exercises to do at home. Since our pelvic floor is basically holding everything in our body together, the center so to speak, don’t be surprised if some exercises are not directly working on the pelvic area; ask your PT to explain why they are assigning you an exercise, and how it will help you. Some soreness or aches are normal after your PT sessions, but this is not a “no pain, no gain” situation: at no point during PT should you feel acute pain or strain on your muscles/ligaments.
And for this subject, the saying “the sooner, the better” cannot be emphasized enough: do not wait until you’re older, pregnant, or have any painful symptoms to get started on strengthening your pelvic floor.
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By Iris Farrou
27 Jul, 2023
Childhood Health, Fatherhood, Lifestyle Tips, New Moms, Parenting, Postpartum, Toddler Health, Your baby's health
are strollers too hot in the summer, Baby, Baby Safety in Summer, how do I keep my newborn safe in the sun, How to keep my baby from overheating, is central AC safe for my baby, keep my baby cool, keep my infant cool, new dads, new mom advice, new moms, newborn body temperature regulation, Toddler, toddler overheating, what clothing is best for baby in hot weather, what time of day is best to go outside during summer with newborn
If you’re spending your first summer with your baby, there are a few things to keep in mind about newborn babies and the summer heat so everyone can remain safe and have an enjoyable summer. Depending on which part of the US you live in or are visiting this summer, keep in mind that the heat may continue into the fall months–or it may be humid heat rather than scorching sun. Either way, the key information to remember is that babies cannot regulate their own body temperatures– older children and adults are able to do so, but babies need extra assistance and protection.
- Overheating is very risky for newborn babies: if you are hot, then your baby is definitely hot as well. It is not unusual or “wrong” to keep babies in either a light onesie or only a diaper.
- Keep the temperature cool: if you have a central AC or a window AC unit and can afford to keep it running to keep the temperature lower than 77F degrees, that is ideal for a baby. Utilizing box fans on your windows for air circulation, as well as ceiling fans, is another method to ensure your baby stays cool.
- Help them sleep comfortably: especially when sleeping, your baby can be only in a diaper or swaddled using very thin, lightweight and breathable material. If you are not using central AC, make sure there is a fan in the room where your baby is sleeping–preferably not pointed directly at them, though.
- Proper hydration: you know that’s true for people of all ages, and the same goes for babies. If you notice infrequent urination or crying without tears, these are signs that dehydration has already occurred. Your instinct may be to give your newborn baby water, but that is a big NO in this case; their bodies cannot process water. Breastfeeding or milk formula in smaller and more frequent doses are a better solution. If your baby is already eating other foods, try to use more hydrating foods in their diet and provide more frequent–but still smaller–meals.
If the outside temperature is above 90 degrees, or 84ish with humidity, this is when your newborn, toddlers, or young children should NOT be outside, especially no more than 15 minutes if you absolutely have to be out. Try to not stay in the heat for too long, and seek shelter in air-conditioned spaces.
If you are using a stroller, keep in mind that it may not be the best idea to go for a walk in the heat—however, you should choose a stroller with a large canopy for extra protection for the warmer months. Avoid going outside in peak heat times of 10am-2pm, and dress your baby in breathable cotton clothing, preferably loose, that covers their skin as much as possible. Wide hats and sunglasses do look adorable on babies, and are also very much necessary.
https://www.michiganmedicine.org/health-lab/how-protect-your-baby-dangers-hot-weather
https://www.whattoexpect.com/first-year/health-and-safety/how-to-protect-children-from-extreme-heat/
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By Iris Farrou
08 Dec, 2022
Fatherhood, Heart health, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, New Moms, Parenting, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Procedures, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Surrogate, WNY Ob-Gyn News, Women's Health, Your baby's health
You have probably heard of couples using surrogate mothers to conceive, or carry a pregnancy to term. The term is often associated with a couple’s fertility challenges, and difficult as those may be, it doesn’t stop being a wonderful way for a couple to have a baby– the parents who initiate the process are called the “intended parents,” and the individual carrying the fetus is the “surrogate mother.” Some of the reasons parents-to-be consider surrogacy may be:
- Trouble conceiving through IVF, which may be related to infertility of unknown origin
- Medical issues that affect the uterus, or even a previous hysterectomy
- Conditions that make the pregnancy too high-risk, such as health concerns or advanced maternal age
- Queer couples
If you didn’t know it, there are two types of surrogacy: traditional one and gestational surrogacy.
Traditional Surrogacy: this is the least commonly used method of surrogacy as it comes with more legal and emotional complexities. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is both the egg donor and the surrogate mother. She uses her own eggs, and therefore has a genetic relationship to the baby. During this method, the surrogate is impregnated using intrauterine insemination. The doctor uses sperm provided by the intended father, transfers it into the uterus of the surrogate, and natural fertilization of the egg takes place from then on. As medical science advances, this type of surrogacy becomes increasingly less common.
Gestational Surrogacy: this is the most commonly used type of surrogacy, and there is no genetic relationship between the surrogate mother and the fetus. Instead, an embryo is inserted into the surrogate’s uterus and she carries the pregnancy to term for the intended parents. To get to that point, the intended parents provide sperm and eggs–or use either/or from a donor–fertilize them and then have them inserted into the surrogate mother’s uterus using in vitro fertilization. In this type of surrogacy, the surrogate may be also called gestational carrier.
Why this choice?
As mentioned above, there are several health reasons why intended parents may choose to find a surrogate mother. However, the decision does not have to rely on those health reasons, and it is always deeply personal and a private decision. The most common reason people choose surrogacy over adoption is that they want to have a biological connection to their child; even though familial bonds are not necessary to build a strong, happy, and healthy family, many parents do want a biological connection to their offspring.
Surrogacy offers a safe and transparent pregnancy as the intended parents are there every step of the way. The most common concern with adoption is that the future parents do not know the medical history of the birth mother, or the father. This can raise serious concerns about their future baby’s medical history, and many parents feel uneasy not knowing whether their adoptive infant may have potentially been exposed to malnourishment or toxins in-utero.
If you are considering a surrogate option for your family, consult with your family doctor first, and keep in mind you may also need to review your state’s laws around surrogacy agreements.
https://www.surrogateparenting.com/blog/what-is-a-surrogate-mother/
https://www.fertilitypreservation.org/blog/when-to-consider-surrogacy-and-how-to-choose-the-right-one
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By Iris Farrou
07 Sep, 2022
Diet & Exercise, Health Conditions and Pregnancy, Heart health, Lifestyle Tips, Mental Health, Parenting, Postpartum, Pregnancy, Prevention, Queer Health, Reproductive health, Women's Health
Body Changes in Pregnancy, body positive, Body Positivity During Pregnancy, Body Positivity While Pregnant, Eating Disorders and Pregnancy, Healthy Lifestyle, Healthy weight gain pregancy, How much weight should I gain in pregnancy, How to manage weight during pregnancy, how to prepare body for pregnancy, Weight Gain Support
If you have armed yourself with all the knowledge you can gather regarding the possible changes
on your body during pregnancy, then you are one step closer to dealing with the physical effect
of those changes. Some women, though they do know their body will change during pregnancy
and possibly afterwards as well, do not seem to mind it at all. Great! According to a survey of
more than 1500 women, just over 41% said they felt more negative about their bodies after
pregnancy. Which goes to show: the majority of women are struggling with body image while
pregnant. Not to mention what the body image stress is probably not helping the baby…
Is this only related to pregnancy?
Of course not… women in general are held to unrealistic expectations of beauty standards—expectations that the media and society constantly repeat. In recent years, this pressure for body perfection has worsened with the rise of social media. What is worse in pregnancy, however, is that the changes are relatively rapid, weight gain is almost always expected, feelings are exacerbated, and you may even be feeling alien in your own body. A vessel, so to speak. All of these are true: you will most likely gain weight during your pregnancy, it’s possible to develop stretch marks, and it is also a possibility that your post-partum body will not be 100% the same as your pre-pregnancy body.
This is a lot…
Yes, this can absolutely be overwhelming. Despair not! Weight gain is—and we cannot stress this enough—normal, and healthy for your baby. Also, if your doctor or nurse gives you the green light, you can exercise while pregnant. It may be light exercise, such as swimming or walking, or pre-natal yoga. These options help make you more aware of the connection between your body and your mind, perhaps take some of the edge off and your mind off of your worries and are steps to ensure the overall health of your body.
If you are concerned about weight gain during pregnancy, make a plan with your doctor, nurse, or mid wife, about your diet. Allow yourself the small pleasures without guilt: your body is participating in the miracle of nourishing a new life. There is no way to make this happen in a healthy manner unless you experience changes yourself.
What else can I do?
Honestly, don’t bottle up your feelings. Being insecure about, or even disappointed with, your
body image is completely normal. Share those feelings and thoughts with your partner, talk about
those worries with your friends. You may want to join a mom group, or even an online
discussion forum where you can exchange ideas with others on the same boat. If it gets too
much, you can always talk to a medical professional or a therapist. Even if you didn’t have body
image issues before pregnancy, it is not uncommon that future mothers start facing those worries
for the first time when they become pregnant. You are not alone in this!
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Postpartum depression is a devastating emotional disorder that negatively impacts a significant number of mothers every year. It’s estimated that approximately 10 to 15 percent of women suffer from some form of postpartum mood disorder (PPMD), including postpartum depression (PPD), postpartum anxiety/OCD, or postpartum psychosis. If you feel that you or a loved one could be suffering from this emotionally, and physically painful disorder, know that you are not alone, and that treatment is available to help you recover and begin enjoying your time with your new baby in positive ways.
Symptoms of Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression symptoms typically develop within the first few weeks after baby is born, but could begin up to six months after birth. While every case is different, typical symptoms of postpartum depression may include:
- Feelings of anxiety or sadness that result in pulling away from family and loved ones.
- Panic attacks.
- Unexplainable sadness that leads to seemingly unprovoked, excessive crying.
- Rapid and severe mood swings.
- Unexplainable feelings of sadness or depression.
- Uncontrollable and intense irritability and/or anger.
- Overwhelming fatigue.
- Difficulty sleeping, or wanting to keep all the time.
- The feeling of being overwhelmed, and/or unable to concentrate, think clearly, or make decisions.
- Not feeling hungry as usual, or overeating.
- Reduced interest in hobbies or typically enjoyable activities.
- Having difficulties bonding with your baby, and/or a strong fear that you are not a good mother.
- Irrational thoughts of harming yourself, or your baby.
- Thoughts of suicide or death.
Your Doctor Can Help
If left untreated, postpartum depression may last for many, painful, and sad months where you are not bonding with your baby in the ways that you’d like. In the most severe cases, postpartum depression can have devastating, deadly consequences.
If you or a loved one think you may be suffering from postpartum depression, your OGBYN can help. A variety of treatment options are available. Your doctor will customize a treatment plan that is right for you, based on your unique circumstances or symptoms. Your recovery plan may include any of the following treatments:
- Medication — Postpartum depression is caused by severe fluctuations in hormones. To treat these changes and restore balance to your system, your doctor may prescribe an antidepressant. Medication can also be helpful in improving your sleep- and appetite-related symptoms.
- Psychotherapy (talk therapy) — For many women suffering from postpartum depression, talk therapy has proven successful either as a stand alone treatment, or when used in conjunction with antidepressant medication. Psychotherapy helps women suffering from postpartum depression to work through their feelings and resolve internal emotional conflicts with the support of a trained professional.
- Support groups — Similar to individualized psychotherapy, support groups can be an effective way for women to feel the support of others with whom they share similar feelings and experiences. Support groups may be recommended in conjunction with medication.
- Inpatient treatment — In the most severe cases, such as when a woman’s postpartum depression is presenting as suicidal ideation, your doctor may recommend a more intense treatment program provided in a focused, inpatient setting. When your doctor is confident that you are not a danger to yourself, or your baby, you will be discharged for continued outpatient treatment.
The initial months after your baby is born are essential for proper emotional bonding, and developing the skills you will need to care for your baby long term. Don’t let postpartum depression interfere with those precious months. Talk to your OBGYN today and learn what your options are, not just for managing symptoms, but for treating the underlying condition that is impacting your emotional and physical well-being.
The doctors at Chouchani, Sayegh and Bagnarello take your physical and mental health very seriously. If you have been experiencing any of the symptoms mentioned above post pregnancy, please schedule an appointment to talk with us.
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