New Baby? 5 Tips to Help Get Your Partner Involved
The first few months with a newborn can be stressful for any parent. Between sleep deprivation, frequent feedings, and changings, the entire process may seem exhausting. Many moms will take on the bulk of the duties, which can lead to even more stress. Because new moms may not be sure what to prioritize and what to ask for help with, this list offers ways to take some things off your plate and help your partner become more involved.
- Teach, don’t preach. If your partner is a first-time parent, he or she may need some time to become comfortable with a baby. Babies are so small, sometimes new parents are a bit apprehensive about holding, changing or feeding them. Let your partner warm up and discover how to be comfortable with the newborn. Once this familiarity begins to develop, the rest of the care-giving will fall into place.
- Encourage bonding time. Encourage your partner to spend alone time with the baby, which not only gives you a rest, but also lets the baby get used to their other caregiver. This can include rocking the baby in a chair, singing him/her a lullaby, or even wearing the baby in a sling around the house or on errands.
- Realize that it’s ok if your partner doesn’t do things exactly the way you’d do them. Get your partner involved with the basic caregiving tasks of changing, dressing, and bathing. Let your partner go at it alone, even if this means they make mistakes. They need to find their own rhythm, which may differ from yours. Try not to hover or criticize.
- Ask for a break! Many new moms try to do everything themselves. Ask for breaks from feeding with expressed milk or formula. While it may take planning to get milk stored in advance, it can be a tremendously helpful break for the mother. Take a nap, go for a walk or go to the store alone.
- Keep an open line of communication. A new baby in the house is a big change for everyone. Keeping an open line of communication and caring for one another lovingly is key to decreasing stress levels in the household.
As a new mom, it can be easy to want to take the lead and dictate how tasks should be completed. However, it’s important to let your partner be involved and do things their own way. There are many styles and ways to care for a baby, as long as the baby is being safely looked after, let your partner put their own spin on it. They may make mistakes, but do your best to refrain from criticism. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as negative, work to value the help and relief as a positive aspect.
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