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Change can be difficult at any age, especially for children who cannot fully grasp the impact of something new—no matter the scale. For a young child, spoiled by mom and dad’s undivided love and affection, what could be more uncertain than being told you’re about to have a sibling—a sibling who will require you to share your mommy and daddy and your toys? Don’t fear this conversation with your son or daughter. Instead, approach it as an opportunity to share your excitement for your expanded family with one of the most precious individuals in your life. There are ways to make the news that your child is going to be a big brother or sister one that results in acceptance of the uncertain, and even enthusiasm and excitement.

Since your child’s comprehension, fears, and experiences will be different depending on his or her age, we have broken out our advice by age band.

Ages 1 – 2

Children of this age will not entirely understand what it means to be getting a sibling. What will be most important is for you is to talk about the new baby with excitement, and for your child to hear and feel that positivity from you. Eventually, he or she will associate happiness with their new sibling when the baby arrives. To help with your child’s comprehension, read storybooks together that focus on the arrival of a new baby, and explain that something similar is about to happen to your family.

Ages 2 – 4

At this age, your child’s primary concern will likely be a fear of having to share mom and dad’s time and affection with a new baby. Talk to your child and reassure him or her that you will always be there for love and support, even when the baby arrives. He or she will also need to understand, however, that you will need to spend dedicated time caring for the new baby. Involve your child in the planning process, so that he or she feels that preparing for the new baby is something your family is doing together. Also, be sure to explain that there will be a day or two when you are in the hospital with your new baby. Reassure your child that the separation will only be temporary and that you will be home soon so that you can all meet and greet the new baby as a family.

Ages 5 and Up

Slightly older children will be best able to understand what it means to be getting a sibling, but that doesn’t mean they will be happy about sharing your attention. Keep your child as involved in the planning and preparation process as possible so that he or she continues to feel your affection and attention. If possible, allow your child to see you and the baby at the hospital, and when you return home, give them small, safe responsibilities that will help him or her to develop a sense of pride in being an older sibling.

While preparing your child for a new baby, make sure you take a holistic approach to preparing your family. Make time for self-care, for the needs of your child, your husband, and of course, your newest addition. When everyone feels cared for and supported, they will be able to approach the latest change in your collective lives as a cohesive team, and that will make everyone happy.